The Secret Life of Adepts Ep 2: Mercury Matchmaker
by Lord Cynic
Summary: The next episode my Golden Sun series Oh joy. Continuing on from BSM, this gives Mia the role of Cupid... sorta... Chapter 12! IsaacMia GaretJenna eventually WRITER'S BLOCK
1. Blissful wedding arrangements

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lord Cynic: "Zzz... zzz... zzz... behold! My power!"  
  
Mini Isaac: (sweatdropping) "What's he doing?"  
  
Mini Garet: "Listen..."  
  
Lord Cynic: "I am the mighty Lord Cynic! Hear my belch! BBBBUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP!!!!"  
  
Mini's: "WHOOOAAA!!!"  
  
Lord Cynic: "Zzz..." *Wakes up.* "That was good..." *Looks around to find the Mini's hanging from an outside tree.* "What're you doing out there?"  
  
Mini Jenna: "Wouldn't you like to know?!"  
  
Lord Cynic: "No, I mean, the window's closed. *Points.*  
  
Mini's: OO;;;;  
  
KEY:  
  
"..." - Normal speech  
  
'...' - Private thoughts  
  
(...) - Normal comments  
  
{...} - Author comments  
  
********** - Flashback  
  
@@@@@ - End of scene  
  
^^^^^^ - Later  
  
~ - The next day   
  
& - Author's pause  
  
+ - Dream sequence  
  
? - Story intervention  
  
Cynic Productions presents...  
  
THE SECRET LIFE OF ADEPTS!  
  
Episode 3: The Mercury Matchmaker!  
  
Chapter 1: Blissful wedding arrangements (Cough)  
  
"C'mon, Ivan! We have to make it through this wind!"  
  
"I don't think I can make it! Go on without me!"  
  
Isaac and Ivan struggled to fight their way through a massive gust. Ivan's hair was plastered over his face, and Isaac was having difficulty keeping his feet on the ground.  
  
Eventually, they were both lifted off their feet, and slammed against a wall. They were soon joined by Garet and Felix, who flattened the 17-year old and 15-year old Adepts. As soon as Garet and Felix collapsed onto the floor, Isaac and Ivan could peel themselves off the floor, and they drifted onto the floor, as flat as pancakes.  
  
Soon, they were joined by a furious Jenna, who was stomping out like an enraged (or demented) T-Rex, a smug Sheba, who wore a sly smirk on her face, and a timid Mia, who was creeping into the room like a timid mouse. Both Jenna and Mia were red in the face: Jenna with anger, Mia with embarrassment. Mia looked at the crumpled Isaac, and after receiving a friendly grin from him the crimson tint on his cheeks grew brighter.  
  
"I'd hate to break up your special moment," Ivan interrupted, "but the dragon is about to explode."  
  
He was referring of course to Jenna, who was towering over Garet. She had a blazing fire in her eyes, and looked set to singe Garet to a crisp.  
  
"Do you think it's funny," she shrieked, "to try and trick me with a stupid prank like trying to read my mind?!"  
  
Felix sniggered in the corner, but his face dropped when Jenna rounded on him, brandishing a handful of notes.  
  
"These are yours, I presume?" she hissed. "I know your handwriting anywhere." She threw the notes at Felix, who flinched slightly.  
  
"Come on," Garet said slowly, getting up. Ivan and Felix followed suit, but Isaac was still staring at Mia, who was returning his stares with shared interest.  
  
"C'mon, Lover Boy," Felix sighed, grabbing Isaac by the collar and dragging him out of the house. Isaac managed to wink at Mia before his head disappeared out the door, and she blushed again.   
  
Jenna didn't take the situation so lightly.  
  
"Let's go," she said, turning towards the door. Sheba and Mia followed, Sheba with a wide smirk on her face, Mia with her head to the sky in thought.  
  
@  
  
"I can't believe we got out alive," Ivan said, breathing a sigh of relief. Garet and Felix nodded in agreement, both also grateful that Jenna hadn't fried them into kebabs {"Hmm... kebabs... no, I'm not going there."}.  
  
Isaac wasn't paying attention, because he was plucking petals off a rose.  
  
"She loves me... she loves me not... she loves me... she loves me not... she loves me..." He stopped, looking at the remaining petal. Then he grinned and pulled off half a petal.   
  
"She loves me not... she loves me!" He pulled off the second half of the petal with a wide grin on his face.  
  
"She loves me, she loves me! Oh yeah, she loves me!"  
  
"Oh, for Mars' sake!" Garet said finally. "Why don't you just marry the girl?!"  
  
"Bad choice of words, mate," Felix said grinning, tapping Garet on the shoulder and pointing to Isaac.  
  
Garet and Ivan nearly puked as they caught sight of Isaac's face. His eyes had turned into love hearts, and he was wearing a Yoshi smile.  
  
"Fantastic idea, ol' buddy," he said. "I'm gonna go find her and ask - hey! What's the big idea, Felix?"  
  
"Not so fast," he replied. He motioned Garet and Ivan to continue without him and Isaac and they willingly obliged, shaking their heads.  
  
"Hey, what -" Isaac started again, but Felix put up a hand to stop him.  
  
"Relax, little man. (Isaac frowned.) I'm just gonna pass an idea by you."  
  
"I'm listening..."  
  
"If Mia accepts your proposal, why not make it a double wedding?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean," Felix said slowly, "why not join up two Mars Adepts at the same time?"  
  
Isaac thought for a moment.  
  
"Saturos and Menardi?"  
  
Felix fell down in stupidity.  
  
"They're dead, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah..." Isaac thought again. "Agatio and Karst?"  
  
"No!" Felix looked set to strangle Isaac, but he stopped and just ran his fingers through his hair. "No... not them."  
  
"Ohhhh... Garet and Jenna!"  
  
"Yes, yes, exactly!"  
  
"So... now how would I go about doing this?"  
  
"Simple, ask the love expert."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your girlfriend."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"... the 17-year old Mercury Adept with blue hair."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"..." Felix's fists clenched but he made no attempt to attack Isaac. "The girl you want to MARRY."  
  
"Ohh... Mia!"  
  
"Yes!" Felix said, and the fist clenching ceased.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for?"  
  
"Let Time take its course," Felix said semi-patiently, and Isaac nodded. "C'mon, let's catch up to the other two."  
  
Isaac nodded again and they started to hurry after Garet and Ivan. But as they ran, Isaac wondered why Felix was being so nice, and what dark secrets he was hiding.  
  
^  
  
Isaac and Felix finally caught to Garet and Ivan at the market. They were idly exploring the various stores with no real interest.  
  
"Huff... puff... we... finally found you..." Isaac breathed. Garet smirked. "Huff... what?"  
  
"Oh, we're just picking out a wedding present," Garet replied, and Ivan grinned.  
  
"What did you have in mind?"  
  
This caught Garet off-guard and he stopped momentarily, obviously unnerved by Isaac's unceasing cheerful behaviour.  
  
"What did you say to him?" he asked Felix.  
  
"Oh, just giving him encouragement," he said, smirking. Garet looked at him strangely, wondering what Felix was up to.  
  
"Wow..." Isaac said, staring at a necklace display. Garet, Ivan and Felix walked over to the display to see what he was getting excited about. Garet looked at the price-tag, and he almost fell over.  
  
"10,000! How would you expect to pay for this?!"  
  
"Oh, you'd be surprised," Isaac said, whipping out his wallet and showing his wads of cash. Garet's eyes bulged.  
  
"How did -" he began, but Isaac put up a hand to stop him.  
  
"Garet, Garet, Garet, my misguided friend," he said calmly, making Garet frown. "If I told you, everyone else would have the money, and I'd be left with squat."  
  
"Er..."  
  
"My good man," Isaac said to the man behind the counter, "I'll take that fantastic necklace. Oh, and the beautiful ring on the stand behind you."  
  
The man's eyes twinkled, and he fetched the ring behind him as Isaac counted his money.  
  
"For you, my big spending friend," the man said, "both will be half price. So, that comes to 7500 gold pieces."  
  
"Excellent," Isaac said with a smile. They exchanged money and purchases, and Isaac's eyes glistened.  
  
"Mia will be thrilled," he said in a dreamy voice.  
  
Garet's eyes remained bulged, but he couldn't open his mouth to speak.  
  
"What's going on here?" Ivan asked, knowing Garet would've said the same thing.  
  
Lord Cynic: "Relatively short, I know. Don't worry, hopefully the next chapter will be longer."  
  
Chapter 2 - Mia & Isaac: Vale's Cupids 


	2. Vale's Cupids

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mini Garet: "Excellent... soon, with this potion, I shall take over the world... muwahaha!!!"  
  
Mini Jenna: "... what IS that?"  
  
Mini Isaac: "Dunno. Cynic?"  
  
Cynic: "... where's my ginger ale?"  
  
Mini's except Garet: OO;  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
Mini Garet: "Arr, I know it was you! You... stole my macaroni..."  
  
Mini Jenna: "... good one, Cyn."  
  
Lord Cynic: "... ? What?"   
  
=  
  
Mini Mia: "Golden Sun is property of Camelot Soft and Nintendo. Make a third game already!!! WAA!!!"  
  
Mini Isaac: "Er... Mia?"  
  
Mini Mia: "WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"  
  
=  
  
Lord Cynic: "I've redone the first chapter. I think it's better... if not, sincerest apologies." oO  
  
=  
  
Chapter 2 - Mia and Isaac: Vale's Cupids  
  
Jenna was still fuming after Garet and Felix's prank, and she stomped along in front. Mia and Sheba trailed silently behind her, a safe distance away in case Jenna unleashed her anger on them.  
  
Luckily, Jenna refrained from making violent outbursts, but she muttered non-stop to herself.  
  
"Stupid Garet... stupid Felix... trying to mess with my head... if I ever get my hands on them..."  
  
"Er... Jenna?" Mia asked timidly.  
  
"What?!" Jenna growled, spinning around to glare at Mia. Mia shrank under Jenna's fury.  
  
"Erm... w-where are we going?" she stammered nervously.  
  
Jenna continued to glare at Mia for a few seconds, then she turned back around and resumed her walking. "We're going to see Kraden."  
  
"... why?" Mia and Sheba chorused, as they followed her again. Jenna ignored their panic-stricken tones.  
  
"I have a favour to ask of him," she said, detouring around the markets to the trail leading to Kraden's cottage. However, as Mia and Sheba glanced at each other fretfully, Jenna smirked. She smirked an evil smirk. She smirked an evil smirk of sinister malevolence. She smirked an evil... well, you get the idea.  
  
@  
  
"The Siren's song has been known to bewitch unweary warriors... if they are caught under its spell, they are doomed to a terrible fate..."  
  
As the monotonous voice droned on endlessly, Kraden busily scribbled down notes.  
  
"And now, the anatomy of a Pixie..."  
  
"Yay!" Kraden cheered enthusiastically, and his eyes became glued to the TV screen. He had to pry them away with a spatula before being able to continue watching - don't ask how he managed to get one. He's... Kraden.  
  
"First, the head. It is said that -"  
  
Knock, knock!  
  
"Dang... blasted!" Kraden cursed, and he hastily changed the channel before opening the door to find Jenna, Sheba and Mia waiting. "Oh, hello, girls. Um, care for a cup of tea?"  
  
"Not now," Jenna said hurriedly, brushing past him to the wardrobe as the TV started to sing a tune.  
  
"... as one ("Digimon!")... together our battles are won ("Digimon!")..."  
  
Sheba and Mia raised an eyebrow as Kraden laughed nervously.   
  
"Care to explain?" Sheba asked.  
  
"Well, um," Kraden stammered, trying to think of an excuse. "Well... I heard, er, that there was a science - yeah, that it's - to Digimon... Digi-volving, I think that call it... yeah, Digi-volving... I'm studying that..."  
  
"Whatever..." Sheba yawned, shaking her head. Guessing he was off the hook, Kraden scurried off into the kitchen to make tea while Mia strolled over to the wardrobe where Jenna was apparently searching for something.  
  
"What are you looking for?" Mia asked, as Jenna untidily threw out several outfits.  
  
"Something white - Bingo!"  
  
Jenna unhooked a white robe from the back of the wardrobe.   
  
"Um... what's that for?" Mia asked.  
  
"You'll see..." Jenna smirked her evil smirk again and the two of them walked back to Sheba.  
  
"Are we going now?" Sheba asked impatiently. Jenna nodded. "At last! This funky smell's messing up my senses."  
  
"What?" Russell from Stickin' Around asked (I think that's him).  
  
"We didn't ask you," Jenna said irritated, and she shot Russell out of a cannon and out of the fanfic.  
  
"Let's go, Drama Queen," Jenna said, turning and walking towards the door. But as they left and the door closed, Kraden returned with the tea.  
  
"Thirsty, girls? I've... huh?"  
  
He stared around at the heap of discarded robes and tuxedos on the floor {"Well, it's not like he uses them..."}. Choosing not to try and understand what happened, he set the tea on a table and went back to watching TV.  
  
"... area scanned! Battlefield set up! Ready, fight!"  
  
Kraden stared at the screen for a few seconds, then settled into his armchair.  
  
@  
  
"What's the rush?" Sheba gasped, as she, Jenna and Mia raced back to Isaac's house.  
  
"The guys' favourite show starts in 10 minutes," Jenna explained. "They'll be fighting over the best seats, but we need to get there before them so that my revenge is all set to go."  
  
"What is that, exactly?" Mia asked.  
  
"You'll find out," Jenna said, and her evil smirk returned. She suddenly sped up, and Mia and Sheba struggled to keep up.  
  
"I get the feeling this isn't going to be good," Mia said as she ran. Sheba simply smirked, but this irritated Mia enough to make her scowl.  
  
@  
  
"C'mon, let's hurry!" Garet shouted, as the guys ran back to Isaac's house.  
  
"The show's gonna start soon!" Ivan said, stating the obvious. Behind him and Garet and Felix kept up the pace, with Isaac dawdling behind them and holding up the rear. The bags in his hands bounced against his sides as he ran.  
  
"At last!" Ivan exclaimed, as the chimney of Isaac's house came into view. "We're nearly there!"  
  
Suddenly, everyone, including Isaac, sped up, excitement filling their veins. But they were in for a shock when they got there.  
  
@  
  
"They're coming!" Mia said, looking out the window. Jenna and Sheba sweatdropped, and hurried up with the finishing touches.  
  
"There, all done," Sheba said proudly, adjusting the tiara on Jenna's head. Suddenly, the doorknob started to rattle.   
  
"Get outta here!" Jenna hissed. Mia and Sheba nodded and hid in a closet just as the door opened. Jenna (somewhat painfully) changed her face to a lovestruck expression as Garet and Co. raced in.  
  
"Let's get good sea - Jenna! What are you doing here?" Garet was stunned stupid - again. "What's with the dress?"  
  
"Hello, Garet," Jenna said sweetly. Ivan and Felix sweatdropped as Jenna approached Garet with a less-than-subtle smile on her face. Not that Garet noticed, though.  
  
"W-What's wrong?" Garet asked nervously, backing into a wall. Unfortunately, he realised too late that he was stuck, because when Jenna walked up to him, he found he couldn't escape. "Um... er... you don't look so good," he stammered, searching for a non-existent escape route.  
  
"Oh, I'm just fine," Jenna said in her sweet-as-strawberries voice. "I just want to tell you something."  
  
"Erm... what's that?"  
  
Mia and Sheba clambered out of the closet, out of breath and gasping. They looked at Garet's predicament and smiled thinly, causing the other guys to look at them suspiciously.   
  
"You had a hand in this, didn't you?" Felix asked.  
  
"Perhaps," Mia said shyly, and everyone returned to watching Garet squirm.  
  
"After your prank, you got me thinking," Jenna explained. "Especially about me liking you... and you know what? You're right."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Jaws hit the ground as all the guys present stared at Jenna, shocked and mouths gaping open. At that moment, Isaac stumbled into the house, exhausted. He surveyed the situation, and quietly hid in the corner to watch. Jenna chose to ignore all this as she continued.  
  
"I wanna get married," she said with a wide smile. Garet's voice became stuck in his throat when he heard this, and everyone watched as the colour drained from his face.  
  
"You... what?"  
  
"I wanna get married. Now."  
  
The remaining colour from Garet's hair was drained away when Jenna announced "Now," and his face looked like that of a ghost - with unusual porcupine hair. He glanced back at his male companions (as in friends...) desperately, who stared back at him blankly and shrugged. With a gulp, he turned back to Jenna.  
  
"Well?" she asked, continuing to smile at Garet and waiting for an answer. Finally, Garet managed to escape from Jenna's grip, and he headed towards the door.  
  
"Um... well, the thing is... you're... I... we're not ready," he stammered, opening the door behind him. "Sorry, but... I... I can't." He backed out of the house, and the other guys, except Isaac, followed silently, jaws dragging.  
  
"... wow," he said, dumbfounded. "I never knew Jenna felt that way."  
  
"Finally... patooey!"  
  
Isaac suddenly turned to Jenna, who was gagging with disgust.  
  
"I'm soiled forever! Blegh, patooey! Bwah - What are you still doing here?!"  
  
Isaac jumped, not expecting Jenna to catch him. He muttered, "Or not," to himself before secretly slipping Mia a note and walking out the door. When he was outside, he suddenly realised something and turned back around.  
  
"Wait, a minute, this is _my_ -"  
  
BAM.  
  
" - house."  
  
Isaac sighed heavily and trudged to the forest.  
  
@  
  
"Does he know?" Jenna asked, agitated.  
  
"From your reaction, I'd guess so," Sheba said, shrugging.  
  
"Blast it!" Jenna growled, thumping a table with her fist. "He'll ruin everything!"  
  
"You should've checked that all the guys were gone," Sheba said casually.  
  
"I didn't see him come in!" Jenna whined. "You don't know what it felt like to play Little Miss Love, Care 'N' Share! I swear, I felt like my face wanna gonna collapse." She pulled a face. "I don't know how Mia does it everytime she thinks about Isaac."  
  
"Hey... where is Mia?"  
  
Jenna looked around, and indeed, Mia had disappeared.  
  
"Huh?" Jenna was befuddled, and she and Sheba scratched their heads in confusion.  
  
@  
  
Mia sprinted through town, Isaac's note ringing in her mind:  
  
'Dear Mia,  
  
Meet me in the forest outside of town. I have a favour to ask of you... and a little surprise.  
  
Love, Isaac, a.k.a. Your blonde knight in shining armour xxx ooo'  
  
Mia blushed as she reread the last line of the note in her mind. Passers-by glanced at her briefly, wondering what she was so excited about. She didn't notice, because she was immersed in her own fantasy world yet again.  
  
+  
  
"Sir Isaac!"  
  
"Hello, beautiful."  
  
Isaac and Mia stared longingly at each other. Then, their faces grew closer to each other, their lips only millimetres away. Mia closed her eyes, waiting for lift-off... their lips finally to -  
  
+  
  
BAM  
  
"Oof!"  
  
Mia collided with a sign, and fell backwards. Muttering to herself, she got up and read the sign: "Town boundary - Forest".  
  
"I'm here!" she said enthusiastically, and she darted into the forest in search of Isaac.  
  
@  
  
Isaac started whistling idly while waiting for Mia. He smiled to himself, imagining her reaction to his proposal - if she accepted it, of course.  
  
He was starting to hum a tune to himself when a shadowy figure approached behind him. Suddenly, the figure grabbed him around the waist from behind. He struggled against its grasp, but it turned him around to face it. At once, blue eyes shone at Isaac, but they were the last things he saw before his face was pulled towards them.  
  
"Hello, Isaac," an angelic voice whispered to him, and lips met.  
  
'... mmm... chocolate swirls,' Isaac thought to himself, as blushing maidens greeting each other in close contact {"Shakespeare influence, again... for those who don't know, blushing maidens mean lips"}. However, a familiar scent filled his nostrils. "M-Mima?" he mumbled.  
  
The maidens parted, and Isaac stepped back into the light. The figure too stepped into the light, and Isaac saw the mysterious figure for the first time.  
  
"Mia!"  
  
She smiled at him, and Isaac saw this as a moment to relax and smile back.  
  
"Hello, you miss me?"  
  
"Of course. Although, your perfume gave it away."  
  
"Aww," Mia said teasingly, "I thought it was my powers of seduction."  
  
Isaac laughed somewhat nervously. "Hey, I'm glad you came," he said, and Mia beamed. "I have something for you." He searched one of his bags for one of his purchases. "I bought this for you." He held out the necklace he bought, and Mia's eyes lit up.  
  
"This is beautiful!" she said, putting it around her neck.  
  
"In that case, it suits you perfectly," Isaac said, smirking. Mia gave him a playful slog on the shoulder before hugging and kissing him as gratitude. "Anything else?"  
  
"Oh, there is," Isaac said, "but I'm not giving it to you yet. It's something that requires a... well, more friendly environment."  
  
"You sure?" Mia said, smiling at him.  
  
Isaac fought against her powers of seduction. "Y-Yes... I.... c-eean't. I still have a favour I need from you," he added, regaining his composure.  
  
"What do you need help with?"  
  
"... playing Cupid. I need your help joining up two friends of ours."  
  
'Oh..." Mia said slowly. "Are they Ivan and Sheba?"  
  
"Er... no."  
  
"Oh, I know! Felix and Sheba!"  
  
'Wow,' Isaac thought. 'The Garet Syndrome must be contagious.'  
  
"Well..." Mia said, trying to think. "Ah! Garet and Jenna!"  
  
"Yep," Isaac said, breathing a sigh of relief. Mia looked at him strangely. "Oh, it's nothing. Well, can you help me?"  
  
"Of course," Mia said, beaming. They took each other's hand and walked back to down. Vale's Cupids were on the case.  
  
=  
  
Lord Cynic: "There... should satisfy you people for now." *Breaks down.* "It's too much! I can't do this anymore!!!"  
  
Mini Garet: "Get a hold of yourself!" *Bashes Cynic with a mallet.*  
  
Lord Cynic: "Bwah... it's-a me, Mario!... Hello!..." *Collapses.*  
  
Mini Mia: "That wasn't nice."  
  
Mini Garet: "... got a better solution?"  
  
Mini Mia: "..."  
  
Mini Garet: "Thought so."  
  
Mini Mia: = \  
  
=  
  
Chapter 3 - Immature Proposals, Secret Meetings and Porter Potties 


	3. Immature Proposals, Secret Meetings, and

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mini Ivan: "I bet I can go faster than you!"  
  
Mini Garet: "You're on!"  
  
Both put the pedal to the metal and zoom into the distance, leaving a large cloud of smoke which distracts Cynic from his business - whatever it is.  
  
Lord Cynic: *Cough cough* "What the... HEY!"  
  
Mini Jenna: (yawning) "What?"  
  
Lord Cynic: "They took my Volkswagon... and my Volvo!"  
  
Mini Jenna: "Your what?!"  
  
Lord Cynic: "My cars! Get back here!" *Aimlessly runs after them.*  
  
The other remaining Minis are woken from their slumber as Lord Cynic pelts after Mini Ivan and Mini Garet.  
  
Mini Mia: "Do you think we should tell him?"  
  
Mini Jenna/Mini Sheba: "... nah."  
  
=  
  
Mini Isaac: "Golden Sun doesn't belong to Lord Cynic. If it did... no, I don't wanna think about it..."  
  
=  
  
Chapter 3 - Immature Proposals, Secret Meetings, and Portable Potties  
  
Garet and Co. strolled through town, Garet as the lead. He was still ghostly white after his experience, and the other two sniggered behind him.  
  
"Its not funny!" Garet said, rounding on his friends. However, he had lost his respect due to Jenna's revenge, and instead of being intimidated, Ivan and Felix started to laugh. "Stop laughing!"  
  
However, they continued to laugh, and Garet through his arms up in disgust and stomped on, huffing irritably. As he walked away, Felix and Ivan started chortling to themselves.  
  
"To be fair, it was pretty nasty," Ivan admitted reasonably. Felix snorted.  
  
"If you ask me, he deserved it." Ivan looked at him accusingly. "What?"  
  
"_He_ deserved it?" Ivan said with a note of disbelief. "You had a hand in his little hoax too, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, well, I -" Suddenly, Felix pager beeped inside his pocket (Don't ask me why they have those things...). Ivan looked at it curiously.  
  
"What's that?" he asked, continuing to peer at the small blinking contraption.  
  
"Er... some kind of electronic message thingy," Felix added slowly. "Kraden gave it to me," he added quickly, when Ivan gave him the raised eyebrow. "Anyway," he said, looking at the pager, "I'll be off. Important business to attend to."  
  
And with that he sped off, leaving Ivan slightly confused, and highly suspicious.  
  
@  
  
Felix stopped in the forest, and immediately his eyes searched left and right, as if he was looking for something, or someone. Soon he started to tap his foot impatiently.  
  
"She'd better not be leaving me here to be bored to death," he muttered to himself, but he bit his tongue in the process. "Oww!"  
  
Suddenly, he heard a snigger in the bushes. Raising an eyebrow, he strolled over to them only to be zapped unexpectedly. He fell onto the ground, twitching, and the culprit revealed herself.  
  
"Well, well," she said, observing the results, "I didn't expect such a puny bolt to have this sort of effect." She thought for a second. "Oh yeah, he's a Venus Adept... oh, oopsy," she added sarcastically as Felix got up, his face still twitching involuntarily.  
  
"To be honest, that's a good look for you," Sheba said, still smirking. When he had at last regained control of his facial muscles, Felix glared at her.  
  
"There are more subtle ways of saying hello," he muttered, to which Sheba simply shrugged dismissively.  
  
"You have your way, I have mine."  
  
She sat down on a tree stump as Felix stood against a tree, arms crossed.  
  
"What kind of business is this, anyway?" he asked, frowning.  
  
"Oh, just details on our little bet," Sheba said coolly, fidgeting with a twig in her hands. Felix looked at her strangely.  
  
"What details?"  
  
"I'm afraid there have been certain events that have taken place. You know what I mean. Anyway, these events have significantly affected the bet we made initially."  
  
"What do you mean, "significantly affected the bet"?"  
  
"Shh!" Sheba hissed, and she looked around apprehensively. "C'mere, we can't let anyone hear..."  
  
Felix crouched to Sheba's level (quite painfully), and together they discussed the details of their bet.  
  
@  
  
Garet entered the markets as the colour returned to his face. Unfortunately for him, Jenna was staring as an armoury display just a few metres away (why, I have no idea). Garet spotted her immediately, and started to backtrack, but Jenna looked up and spotted him as well.  
  
"Oh, Gaaaaareeeeeet!" she sang, and dashed after him. Garet spun around and sped off, screaming desperately. As Isaac and Mia strolled into the markets together (Isaac with an arm around Mia's waist), Jenna zoomed past them, yelling, "Wait, Garet! I love yoooouuuuu!!!"  
  
Isaac and Mia glanced at each other, sweatdropping, as Garet's desperate screams and yells for help faded into the distance. Mia suddenly grabbed Isaac's wrist, and dragged him to the clothing section - in particular the dresses.  
  
"Er... what are we doing here?" Isaac asked awkwardly, eyeing the other people nervously. Mia looked up at him, surprised.  
  
"I thought it didn't matter where we went together," she said, continuing to look at him using her true, tried and tested powers of seduction. Isaac wavered under this mysterious power, and nodded obligingly.  
  
"Yeah, I guess," he said, and immediately Mia darted between the displays. Isaac wouldn't have minded so much, because there was a Psynergy demonstration nearby. He slipped between the other shoppers to get to the demonstration as Mia gave a squeal of delight.  
  
@  
  
Felix gaped at Sheba, mouth open like the clown games at fun fairs. Sheba stared back plainly, unaffected by Felix's reaction.  
  
"What's the problem?" she asked. Felix continued to gape, but he finally recovered and picked up his jaw.  
  
"You can't be serious!" he objected.  
  
"Times, and circumstances, have changed," Sheba replied plainly. "As such, conditions have been altered to adapt to the circumstances."  
  
"Yeah, but -"  
  
"Are you chickening out?"  
  
"No! I... fine."  
  
Felix threw his arms up in defeat, which was pleasure to Sheba's eyes to see Felix out for the count. She got up and walked back to down, and Felix, after a small pause, followed her.  
  
'This is too much trouble than it's worth,' he thought bitterly to himself, as Vale came into view.  
  
@  
  
"And now, I shall attempt to make the earth shake beneath me!"  
  
The crowd watched in awe as the man closed his eyes, and for a few seconds the stage beneath him shook gently. Although Psynergy wasn't an oddity in the town of Vale, everyone clapped the demonstration enthusiastically, except for Isaac. On the contrary, he seemed highly unimpressed and snorted loudly, causing everyone to spin around and look at him. He looked back at them without any change of expression.  
  
"That was nothing," he said. "This is how it's done..."  
  
He closed his eyes and once again the ground began to shake. However, the effect grew greater. Instead of cups simply rattling on the benches, they fell over and spilt the tea and coffee they contained. People struggled to stay on their feet, and somewhere a young female voice screamed shrilly. Immediately, Isaac ceased the show and sweatdropped.  
  
"... I'm in trouble."  
  
@  
  
Ivan was still standing at the exact same spot as half an hour ago. Passers-by glanced briefly at him, and children pointed and said, "Look at the statue, Mummy!" However, he remained motionless until Sheba spotted him on her way to Isaac's house.  
  
"Excellent, time for payback," she said, remembering the babysitting misadventures and Ivan's nasty trick. She quietly snuck up on to him, and when close enough she mouthed, "Spark Plasma!" At once, lightning shot straight at Ivan, and he shot up in shock and pain as it dinged his behind. Sheba smirked to herself, but she forgot an important law in life: What comes up, must come down.  
  
3... 2... 1...  
  
"OOF!"  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
Ivan expected his landing to be hard and painful, but to his surprise it was soft... and fleshy, he thought to himself.  
  
Below him, Sheba recovered from being used as a mattress, and she shot another plasma straight up at Ivan, who yelped again and fell onto the cold, hard nature.  
  
"What was that for?!" he demanded at Sheba, rubbing his thoroughly burnt butt {"Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Fire burns, not lightning." Explain how trees are zapped and burnt down, hmm? 'Nuff said."}. Sheba grew yet another smirk.  
  
"The first one was a wake-up call," she replied coolly, then added, "and the second one was for payback."  
  
"Right..." Ivan gingerly got up. "Geez, you're not very gentle, are you?"  
  
"All's far in love in war," Sheba said. "Especially war." She smirked more broadly, but when Ivan opened up his mouth to comment, a red flash crashed into him.  
  
"WHOA!"  
  
Crash.  
  
"Gaaaaa - oh!"  
  
Jenna, who was still persistent in her pursuit, stopped immediately when she saw the tangled mess.  
  
"Whoa, what happened?"  
  
Garet and Ivan groaned with despair, then Garet shouted, "What are you doing just standing there?! Help us!"  
  
Jenna and Sheba looked at each other, shrugged, then started untangling the red porcupine and blonde mop.  
  
^  
  
Ten minutes later, through lots of grunting, yelping, cursing and a lot of accidental hair-pulling (as Sheba claimed), Garet and Ivan were free of their predicament. They dusted themselves off and looked relatively relieved, but they kept glaring at each other out of the corner of their eye.  
  
"What the heck were you running for?" Sheba asked, turning to Jenna and having chosen to ignore the other two's non-verbal bickering. Jenna turned to Sheba, and a sly smirk crept across her face.  
  
"Oh, just having some much-needed exercise before our wedding." She turned on her cute-as-a-button face. "Isn't that right, dear?"  
  
She glanced pointedly at Garet, who took a few seconds to notice this and stuttered meekly.  
  
"I told you... I don't wanna get married."  
  
Jenna chose not to believe this. "Oh, you're just saying that because you don't wanna admit it in public." To Sheba and Ivan's amusement, she suddenly half-squeezed Garet to death in a tightening hug, and he struggled desperately to get loose. "You can't wait, can you?" she said in her strawberry voice. Garet cringed - or he would've, if he hadn't been struggling for air.  
  
It was quite an amusing sight to see, Jenna continuing to tighten around Garet like a serpent. Sheba and Ivan looked sideways at each other, and sneaky grins spread across their faces.  
  
"Say, Jenna," Sheba said to her as she continued to strangle Garet in the hug, "can I help you with your wedding plans?"  
  
Somewhat surprised, Jenna released Garet from her death grip, and he collapsed onto the ground, exhausted and out of breath. No one seemed to show any sympathy for him.  
  
"That was a prank, remember?" Jenna whispered to Sheba, but they noticed Ivan watching them curiously. "What do you want?!" Jenna barked, and Ivan shook his head hurriedly and stared at Garet's unconscious form.  
  
"I know," Sheba whispered, making sure that Ivan was preoccupied. "But I wanna help you keep Garet freaked out."  
  
Jenna thought this over, then looked at Ivan, who was trying to poke Garet awake. She turned back to Sheba, an evil smirk on her face for the 268th time that day.  
  
@  
  
Isaac started to fret as Mia barged her way through the stunned crowds toward the stage. As she approached, he panicked and used Sand (which he learned from Felix) to melt under the ground. He just managed to conceal himself when Mia finally arrived.  
  
"Okay, who was it?!" she demanded at the bewildered crowd. They looked at each other, then spun in all directions to try and look for Isaac. Since he was virtually underneath them, he remained hidden, and everyone turned back to Mia.  
  
"Well?" she asked. When no one said anything, she made her way to the stage. She was halfway there when she heard a yelp of pain. Confused, she stomped on the spot.  
  
"Oww!"  
  
"I recognise that voice," Mia pondered. "Isaac, show yourself!"  
  
At once, Isaac's form arose from the ground, sporting a limp He winced for a second, but when Mia gave him a cold stare, his face turned into a look of terror.  
  
"H... Hello, Mia," Isaac said meekly.  
  
"Look at this!" Mia shrieked, holding up some ripped rags. Isaac peered at them apprehensively, but not close enough for Mia to rip his head off.  
  
"Er... a bit wrecked, aren't they?" he commented stupidly. An anger vein on Mia's forehead bulged, and Isaac suddenly shrank.  
  
"A little wrecked?" she said slowly, then she erupted. "A little wrecked?! This is the result of your showing off! These won't magically sew themselves back together!"  
  
"Well... they could, y'know..." Isaac started quietly. "I mean, perhaps there's a, um... an, um... a 'sewing' Psynergy we don't know abou - OWW!"  
  
Isaac hushed immediately when Mia grabbed him by the ear. As she pulled him away, he was thankful that he hasn't proposed to her yet, or she might've taken it back.  
  
@  
  
Jenna and Sheba were huddled together and talking of more revenge as Ivan continued to try and poke Garet awake.  
  
"No... I'm not eating a dead gorilla!" he mumbled in his sleep. Ivan sweatdropped and pokes him again. "I told you, I won't eat it!" Poke. "No!"  
  
Suddenly, he started to glow, and Ivan stepped back in alarm. Jenna and Sheba stopped their discussion in time to see Garet's eyes pop open - furious red.  
  
"I'll teach you to question my appetite! Fireball!"  
  
Balls of fire erupted from his hands (while he was still lying down, mind you), and were sent skywards.  
  
"I hope they won't mind if I stop by for a visit," Piers said to himself, as his boat floated idly over Vale. Suddenly, balls of flame headed straight for him. "What the-"  
  
BOOM  
  
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."  
  
The boat fell towards Vale in a cloud of smoke, and collided onto the roof of the Great Healer.  
  
@  
  
"... wow," Sheba said. "And I thought Garet would eat anything."  
  
"... what... who... where..." Garet was conscious once more, and he sat up, shaking his head. He suddenly noticed the fading cloud of smoke from Piers' boat, then his eyes followed it to the smouldered hull of Piers boat (the only section of the boat not wedged completely into the roof), then to Piers, who had been thrown onto the roof of a porter potty. Everyone smothered their laughter as a man walked out of the porter potty to find a stranger unconscious right above him. Eyes bugged out, he suddenly turned his head to the teenage Adepts, and they looked away quickly, some coughing to hide their true intentions. The man shook his head and walked away, and that's when Ivan burst out laughing.  
  
"Did you see the look on his face when he saw Piers?" he breathed, and that's when Piers finally woke up. He seemed rather discombobulated {"Confused for you little kiddies.").  
  
"... uh... where am I?" He looked at where he was. "... How did I get up here?!"  
  
He looked at the others, confused, as their collapsed on the ground with uncontrollable laughter.   
  
  
  
@  
  
Isaac's face was stuck in a wince as Mia dragged him by his ear back to his house. Little kids passing by sniggered rudely, but Isaac ignored them and asked timidly, "Where are we going?"  
  
Mia glowered at him, causing him to fall silent again.  
  
"We're gonna take a withdrawal out of your wallet, because you're paying for that dress, wrecked or not. Capishe?"  
  
She finally let go of him, and Isaac nodded silently, rubbing his throbbing ear. They'd arrived at his house by then, so Isaac didn't have to ask why he'd regained his freedom.  
  
"Wallet. Now," Mia demanded. "And don't try to run off."  
  
Isaac nodded again and entered the house. Within two minutes, he'd returned with his (still) bulging wallet. Mia looked at it and her eyes widened.  
  
"How did -" she started, but Isaac placed a finger on her lips and handed her the coins from his other hand. However, a small box fell out of a pocket of the wallet, and Mia grabbed it curiously. "What's this?" she asked.  
  
Isaac looked at the box then sweatdropped. "Oh, it's... it's nothing," he said all too quickly.  
  
Mia gave him a raised eyebrow and a mischievous smile, then noticed a name tag attached to the box. "Oh yeah? This tag reads 'Mia'."  
  
Isaac hung his head in defeat. "Yeah, it was my second surprise for you. Go ahead, there's no point in hiding it from you any longer."  
  
Mia looked at him hesitantly, but he nodded encouragingly and she glowed and opened the box. Inside was the ring Isaac had bought, and when she saw it, Mia's face lit up like a neon sign.  
  
"This is beautiful!" she cried, hugging Isaac in a Jenna-like tight embrace.  
  
"Oh, but there's something I want to ask you, now that you have the ring," Isaac said, and Mia withdrew, looking at him curiously. He bent down on one knee, and for a second Mia thought he had a cramp. "Mia, will you do the honour of marrying me and being my wife?"  
  
Mia froze like a statue, and Isaac thought he'd blown it again, but he was wrong. Instead, she suddenly burst into tears of joy, but Isaac couldn't tell the difference between Ivan talking properly and using sarcasm and apologised hurriedly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... it was a bad idea, I shouldn't have..."  
  
Mia shook her head and kissed Isaac on the lips again {"For the sake of ending the repetition of saying that, I'll just call it smooching... ergh... makes me feel dirty"}, silencing him once again. When they released (about 2 minutes later... geez...), she had a smile like the sunshine on her face.  
  
"Of course!" she cried, and Isaac's face became a look of relief and joy instead of horror and shock, then he pulled her closer and they shared another long, passionate, vomit-inducing kiss {"Gee, don't I sound like a hypocrite saying that..."}.  
  
@  
  
"So, what brings you here?" Sheba asked, after everyone had calmed down.  
  
"I was thinking of coming down for a visit," Piers explained slowly, "but someone's fireballs made that decision for me."  
  
Although he had no idea whose they were, eyes were on Garet, who sweatdropped, rubbed the back of his head embarrassingly and said, "Eheh... whoopsy."  
  
Jenna shook her head exasperatedly. "Oh well, you're here now. What'll you do until the boat can be wedged off the roof?"  
  
Piers thought for a moment, then looked at his wrecked vessel and sighed. "Well, while I'm here I might as well get a job."  
  
"Job?" Garet piped up. "What job?"  
  
"I dunno," Piers said. "Whatever I can find."  
  
"Heh, good luck," Sheba said. "In the meantime, Ivan and I have some other business to attend to. Let's go."  
  
Ivan nodded, and the two Jupiter Adepts departed.  
  
"I didn't know you might be looking for a job," Jenna said to Piers after Ivan and Sheba had gone.  
  
"Oh, you know," he said casually, "I'm sure a Lemurian's knowledge of the seas could come in handy."  
  
"Speaking of Lemuria," Jenna said, a devious smile creeping onto her mouth, "I'm sure Garet would love to know your real age, right, Garet? I mean, it's not really 24, is it?"  
  
The Mars Adept in question, who was trying to sneak away, froze on the spot. He spun around to find Jenna waiting and tapping her foot impatiently, and sighed heavily. Looking at Piers, he nodded, but even if Garet hadn't been acting on Jenna's orders, Piers wasn't amused.  
  
"It's none of your business how old I am!" I explained that to you when we left Lemuria, and you're not gonna change my mind on that! Now, if you excuse me I also have business to attend to."  
  
With that, he stomped off grumpily, leaving too confused Mars Adepts (no mean feat for Garet) watching after them. After the initial confusion though, Garet finally managed to slip away from Jenna, which infuriated her greatly.  
  
"I'm not finished making him sorry," she muttered. "I have lots more planned for him..."  
  
=  
  
Lord Cynic: "HELP!!! MUDPIES AND FLAMESHIPPERS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!"  
  
Mini Sheba: "... Really?"  
  
Lord Cynic: "Yes, yes! Lemme in!!!"  
  
Mini Mia opens the door, granting Cynic protection.  
  
Mini Ivan: "Mia!"  
  
Mini Isaac: *Creates a Ragnarok.* "Got a problem with Mia letting him in?"  
  
Mini Ivan: (grumbling) "No."  
  
Mini Isaac: "Good."  
  
Lord Cynic: "... Phew... they don't let up..."  
  
Mini Sheba: "... 3..."  
  
Cynic: "?"  
  
Mini Ivan: "... 2..."  
  
Cynic: "!"  
  
Mini Sheba/Mini Ivan: "1!!!"  
  
They teleport him outside again, and lock the door.  
  
Cynic: "Oh no!!!"  
  
=  
  
Lord Cynic: "Don't ask how I've escaped for now, but just wanna explain why it's taken so long, even if I'd already written the chapter 2 months ago."  
  
Crowd: "WHAT?!"  
  
Lord Cynic: "Don't kill me! Anyway... I've also written poetry. Nothing fanfiction-type, but original poetry in FictionPress. I'm not a self-promoter, don't get me wrong, but just wanna explain my case. Besides, some poems I've written will be used in future fanfics, I guarantee that. Oh, and I've decided the next episode in the series: "This Gift". Inspired by the 98 Degrees song (Favourite band... I know, really bad music taste.), it'll be in Isaac's POV. Joy..."  
  
=  
  
Chapter 3: "Vale's Angels combine with the Sprites" (You'll find out who they are...) 


	4. Reader's Spotlight 1

Reader's Spotlight #1  
  
Lord Cynic: "Sorry to do this in the middle, but there have been some corrections I've had to make, and I thought, "why not?" Anyway..."  
  
=  
  
Chapter 1  
  
--------------------------  
  
"SuperSheba"  
  
I'm dying!... ack!.... the horror... beaten by a blondie........  
  
"Yoshima Takahashi"  
  
Aha... the prank. It's simple: Since Felix and Jenna are siblings, they know stuff about each other that no one else would... or should. Simply put, Felix revealed some secrets to Garet, and Garet made as if he could read Jenna's mind... or something like that. Try asking them, I really have no idea. And yes, Isaac is a little dense...  
  
"Dragon Empress"  
  
Months of neglect... the horror!... end quote.  
  
"lilgirl"  
  
Y'know, I haven't even asked him yet... funny, that...  
  
"Anime-Master7"  
  
Yeah, you know the drill by now. A chapter on Mercury Matchmaker first, then Babysitter Mia. The end of BSM is approaching, however.  
  
"Yugi the Other White Meat"  
  
I never knew Duel Monsters had such nutrious value... no, I wouldn't trust Raiden... he looks too unreliable.  
  
"Wild Fox of the Wasteland"  
  
Mudpies, yeah! I knew Felix had some secret admirers...  
  
=  
  
Chapter 2  
  
--------------------------  
  
"TheFluffyOne"  
  
Yeah, I'm gonna adjust the way I'm doing these episodes... and besides, Isaac would kill me as well.  
  
"YoshimaTakahashi"  
  
Confusion is the name of the game! Yeah, I agree, though. Isaac and Mia... cough... need help... cough.  
  
"Super Sheba"  
  
Run, Isaac!!!... wait... ORDER! Will the two parties please... disengage... eck...  
  
"Wild Fox of the Wasteland"  
  
I concur... I can't wait to see the schemes Vale's Cupids have in store for Felix and his secret lover... *Evil laugh, which turns to splutters, which turns into suffocation, then death.*  
  
"Anime-Master7"  
  
Okay, two things. Number 1, take a chill pill. I have other motives as well. Number 2, work on your grammar. Please.  
  
"Someone"  
  
I've been waiting for dirt on Isaac and Mia for a month. We're on the same boat.  
  
"Dragoon knight"  
  
Mudshipping and Flameshipping are interesting combos... among others...  
  
"Person"  
  
At last, the person who's provoked me to update with the Reader's Spotlight. Well, I'm redoing the two chapters editing out said typos. Thanks for the heads up. As for Piers... well, between you and me, his evil brother Picard (or if you will, Yami Piers) slipped into that chapter and pretending to be our misguided friend (Piers, not Garet). I hope that fixes what I've broken. "I don't know how Mia does that everytime she thinks about Mia"... I think I _am_ mad. Oh well, it's what keeps the fanfics rolling on, doesn't it?  
  
=  
  
Chapter 3  
  
--------------------------  
  
"Wild Fox of the Wasteland"  
  
Simple words of appreciation. I thank thee.  
  
"0==|=R=a=g=n=a=r=o=k="  
  
Not quite. Still two more chapters to go. But yeah, I had to get the proposal out SOME time...  
  
"Anime-Master7"  
  
November 15th? Dude! I have to survive school first! Then there's my poetry writing, daily rituals involving BBQ sauce, potato wedges and chicken munchies, then... I think that's all you need to know, actually. But keep the 'empty' threats coming... they make me laugh.  
  
=   
  
Lord Cynic: "There we go... for now. Enjoy this non-chapter... and kill me after the episodes are finished..." 


	5. Isaac's second worst nightmare

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lord Cynic: "Where's everybody?"  
  
Nothing around him but empty space.  
  
Lord Cynic: "This must be my lucky day!"  
  
Lord Cynic prances around only to fall down a hole.  
  
Lord Cynic: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." *BAM*  
  
Mini Jenna: "Heh heh... sucker."  
  
The Mini GS crew high-five each other as Cynic lays unconscious in the hole.  
  
Mini Mia: "Um... how long will he be that way?"  
  
Mini Ivan: "Who cares?"  
  
Mini Mia: "..."  
  
=  
  
Mini Garet: "Lord Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun. Camelot Soft does. Cynic owns about 50 floppy disks he nicked from school."  
  
Cynic: OO;  
  
Mini Garet: "Er, forget that..."  
  
=  
  
Chapter 4: "Isaac's 2nd-worst nightmare"  
  
Piers stomped through the streets of Vale, cursing and muttering under his breath. Passers-by stared bewilderedly as he randomly froze statues with his Psynergy.  
  
"How dare they," he grumbled. "I am a respected Lemurian, they don't need to know my age... disgraceful..."  
  
As he passed the artillery store, a figure crept out from behind some bushes. He looked exactly like Piers except for one thing: He had the mark of a Mad Demon on his forehead. He watched Piers walk away in disgust and grinned malevolently.  
  
"My plan has already been set into motion... next stop, Isaac's house..."  
  
He proceeded to jump out of the bushes when someone's fireball hit him square in the back, sending him crashing into the side of the artillery store.  
  
"Sorry, mister!" A child called from a short distance away. The Piers look-alike groaned with exasperation.  
  
"This will be harder than I thought," he muttered as he peeled himself off the wall. He scowled when the kids nearby sniggered rudely, then he headed off to Isaac's house.  
  
@  
  
"When there's no one for me to turn to, all I see if you..."  
  
Inside Isaac's house, inside Isaac's bedroom, inside Isaac's closet, Granite and Tonic were at it again. Wait, no, not like that... sick puppies. Down, down!... okay, I'll keep quiet.  
  
"You're eyes are bright like the stars in the sky, my love for you I could never lie," Granite recited lovingly to his Mercury Djinn love. Tonic was cuddled up next to her boyfriend, and they settled further onto a fur coat that Granite had tugged off its coat hanger. Like his Romeo-esque Adept owner, Granite had taken to showering Tonic with gifts and endless declarations of love. {"Sappy little... oh, the microphone's on?... er..."}  
  
"I'll always be here by your side, in the darkness I will be your light," Granite continued to recite. Tonic swooned, but the closet door suddenly opened.  
  
"Granite?!"  
  
"Tonic?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
After creating a short dramatic scene involving the words, "The light, the light," Granite looked up to see blue eyes staring straight at him, which was the same case for Tonic. Both blinked in confusion, then it registered.  
  
"Um, hello, Isaac," Granite said nervously. Next to him, Tonic barely squeaked a hello of her own to Mia.  
  
"Well, well," Isaac said, grinning slyly. "Like Adept, like Djinn."  
  
"I guess so," Granite said. "Tonic definitely gets her beauty from Mia, y'reckon?"  
  
Both Mia and Tonic blushed, and Isaac and Granite grinned at their girlfriends. Tonic became the first of the Djinni to notice Mia's ring.  
  
"Ooooh," she cried in astonishment. "That ring's beautiful, Mia. Where did you get it?"  
  
"Well, actually," Mia said, blushing a deeper red, "Isaac proposed to me."  
  
Granite raised an eyebrow as Isaac rubbed the back of his head embarrassingly. Tonic's eyes sparkled as Mia showed her the ring in all its glory.  
  
"So, when's the big day?" Granite asked.  
  
"We haven't decided yet?" Isaac said, wondering the same thing himself. "We're trying to join Garet and Jenna together so that we can have a double wedding."  
  
"Easier said than done," Granite muttered to Tonic, who giggled. Something suddenly returned to the corridors of his mind, and he smirked. "Say, what are you doing here? I would've thought the closet in Mia's room would be big enough for you two."  
  
The redness on Isaac and Mia's face matched the coats of Jenna and Garet's Djinni's fur, and they stared horrified at the Venus Djinn. Tonic even looked at him like he was going to turn into a Mimic.  
  
"Er, well, that is," Isaac stammered, then he regained his composure. "This is my room!"  
  
"But not for long, eh?" Granite said slyly. Isaac raised an eyebrow. "I bet your mum wants Mia to move in here, right?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
Isaac became speechless as he and Mia started having flashbacks...  
  
*  
  
As Piers departed on his boat, Isaac and Mia looked into each other's eyes. Before anyone could duck into the shrubs to puke, the two lovebirds were sharing another kiss. Watching her son and his girlfriend, Dora's mind was already working towards something.  
  
"I'll need to buy a bigger bed for Isaac's room," she said. "I want some grandchildren as soon as possible."  
  
Everyone ducking to puke fell over themselves into the bushes, and Isaac and Mia froze in mid-kiss, scarlet with embarrassment.  
  
~  
  
A large truck pulled up to Isaac and Dora's house early the next morning. Unlike their late-sleeping Adept counterparts, Granite and Tonic were wide-awake - pashing in Isaac's closet. Upon hearing the truck outside, after falling off the top shelf in shock the Djinni scrambled to the window to see what the noise was.  
  
"I've never seen a truck here before," Tonic whispered.  
  
"Neither have I," Granite whispered back. "I wonder why it's here?"  
  
Tonic was about to say something else when Isaac grunted in his sleep. The two Djinni sweatdropped nervously as Dora's voice called from downstairs.  
  
"Isaac! Mia! Come look at the new bed!"  
  
Isaac grunted again and rolled out of bed - onto the floor. Cursing to himself, he gathered himself off the floor and stumbled out of the bedroom. Immediately in the corridor he met Mia, who was wearing a starry nightgown, very unlike her common wear of robes. When their eyes met, Isaac looked Mia over and she blushed bright red when he grinned. He wrapped an arm around her waist and they walked together downstairs.  
  
"About time," Dora said as the two teenagers finally arrived at the front door. "The new bed's come."  
  
"Huh?" Isaac finally tore his eyes off Mia to look at his mother. "What new bed? For who?"  
  
"You of course," Dora said, as if it was obvious. Isaac and Mia stared at her, and she added, "Your bed's way to small for you and Mia to sleep in together, so I got a double."  
  
"W-What do you mean?" Mia asked timidly when Isaac became incapable of human speech.   
  
"What, you haven't talked about it yet?" Dora asked, surprised. "I thought you'd already be -"  
  
"Mum!" Isaac's face was burning red by now. "We've only been going out for nine hours!"  
  
"Well!" Dora huffed, but she remained dignified. "Your father and I only needed ten minutes before we knew we wanted to get married."  
  
"How old were you?"  
  
Dora chose to ignore this, but she said no more on the subject. Upstairs, Granite and Tonic were listening to every word.  
  
"Well, well," Granite said. "Looks like our two turtledoves might be living in the same nest soon, so to speak."  
  
*  
  
"We've both known for a while now," Granite drawled. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have business to resume."  
  
Isaac seethed and looked like he could fry a Grypphon's egg on his head, but Mia gripped his arm and he cooled down. Glaring at his Venus Djinn, he left with Mia so that Granite and Tonic could be alone again.  
  
After the two Adepts left, Granite turned to Tonic with a stupid smile on his face, misreading the horrified look on Tonic's.  
  
"Now my darling," he said. "What were we up to - oww!"  
  
Tonic whacked him on the back of the head, making him fall out of the fur coat onto the floor.  
  
@  
  
"Come on Isaac. Let us go before you do something you'll regret."  
  
Isaac and Mia walked down the stairs, Mia still with her arm around Isaac's. Isaac was still ticked off about their conversation with their Djinni, but he remained silent for the meantime.  
  
"Don't worry about Granite," Mia reassured him gently. "If I know Tonic, she would've made sure that he didn't get away with it painlessly."  
  
Isaac thought about that as they walked to the front door, and to Mia's relief a confident, albeit malicious smile spread across his face.  
  
"Y'know," he began, "it seems that those two have followed in our footsteps to the path of true love. Like Adept, like Djinni I guess. To tell you the truth, I didn't know any of my Djinni had a romantic muscle in their bodies."  
  
"Well," Mia said, smiling, "they must get it from you, because you're the sweetest guy I know."  
  
Isaac blushed modestly, and Mia smiled again as he went to open the door, but he was bowled over by a red streak that collided with him and rolled into the TV room. As Mia fretted over her unconscious fiancé, a loud thump came from the other room when a leather couch halted the red streak's rampage.  
  
"Ow!" cried a voice from the room as Mia revived Isaac with her Psynergy. After he regained consciousness, Isaac glanced at Mia in confused and she pointed to the TV room. Eyebrows raised, Isaac crept into the TV room to find Garet rubbing his head in pain.  
  
"Damn couch," he cursed. "Stupid piece of cr -" He stopped in mid-sentence and looked up to see Isaac and Mia staring at him. "Er, hey guys. How you two doin'?"  
  
He sweatdropped when Isaac and Mia gave him (- -); faces, and he removed his hand from his head to reveal a large throbbing bump on his noggin. Isaac and Mia took one look at it and turned, trying desperately to hide their laughter. Garet scowled.  
  
"Do you mind? I'm in a bit of pain," he growled angrily. Isaac and Mia cleared their throats and tried to apologise, but one glance at Garet's bump and their dissolved into laughter again.  
  
"Sorry buddy," Isaac said between laughs. Garet growled again and got up to leave when the front door rattled. With a yelp, he dove behind the couch just as a steaming Jenna burst into the house.  
  
"All right, where is he?!" he demanded. Although their wore nervous (^_^); faces, Isaac and Mia were thoroughly confused.  
  
"Where is who?" Isaac asked. He jumped back in alarm at the mingled glare Jenna was giving him.  
  
"Garet, that's who!" she shrieked, making Isaac and Mia both fall over sideways. As they recovered and got back up, they gave each other "So that's why" looks while Jenna stalked around the house searching for her dim male counterpart.   
  
"'I'll distract Jenna while you get Garet out of the house," Mia whispered to Isaac, who looked back at her in a mix of surprise and disappointment.  
  
"Why?" he whispered back. "It'd be really funny to see what Jenna would do to Garet if she found him, wouldn't you agree?"  
  
"Well, yes," Mia said, smiling slightly. "But I don't think your mother would be too pleased if she came back to find this place in ashes after Jenna's through with Garet."  
  
Speaking of the two Mars Adepts, Garet was hiding in a cabinet while Jenna prowled around the kitchen. She nearly ripped open cupboards as she continued to search for the redhead.  
  
"Yes, you're right," Isaac said after briefly thinking it over. "All right, occupy Jenna while I find Garet and get him out of here."  
  
Mia nodded, and gave Isaac a quick peck on the cheek for good luck. He gave her the thumbs up and a wink and she disappeared into the kitchen. Now wearing a sneaky smile on his face he crept around the TV room quietly.  
  
"Hey, Garet!" he hissed, tiptoeing between some chairs. "Garet! Where are you?"  
  
The cabinet in the corner shook violently, and for a second Isaac thought it was haunted. Giving himself a mental punch in the arm and a physical shake, he crept over to the cabinet and stared at it, brows furrowed.  
  
"Either it is possessed," he thought aloud, "or a certain redhead has made it his refuge."  
  
Smirking, he decided not to spring Garet (yet) and turned his back to the cabinet. However, before he could walk away, Garet burst out of the cabinet, gasping for air. Isaac turned around to be crushed when his childhood friend collided with him for the second time that day.  
  
"Look out -"  
  
"What t -"  
  
"What was that?" Jenna asked sharply, hearing the collision. Mia sweatdropped nervously, hoping Isaac wasn't in some sort of strife.  
  
"Isaac must've tripped over something," she said quickly.  
  
"Hmm..." Jenna wasn't completely convinced, but she spotted a flash of red at the top of the stairs. Thinking it was Garet's hair, she charged like an angry bull up the stairs, and Mia hurried after her.  
  
'I hope Isaac can hurry,' she thought desperately as Jenna began to speed hungrily up the stairs.  
  
  
  
"I'm seeing stars... and tomatoes... lettuce... cheese... mayonnaise... a juicy meat patty... all in a sesa -"  
  
Garet snapped back into reality to find that he was sitting on something soft that wasn't the carpet. He got up to find Isaac unconscious on the floor.  
  
"I'd better wake him up in case Mia comes back and thinks I did something to him." Garet scratched his chin thought, then an idea popped into his head. He crouched next to Isaac and whispered in his ear. "Alex is back, Isaac, and he's proposed to Mia. She accepted his proposal and they're getting married next we -"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Garet didn't get to finish his sentence before Isaac shot up in shock. He was as white as ghost as his blue eyes darted around the room, and Garet already started to regret his nasty joke.  
  
"What in the world was that?!" Jenna exclaimed, halfway through searching a broom closet. Mia also heard the scream and, having recognised it as Isaac's, fretted about what could've happened.  
  
"I've gotta go downstairs," she decided, forgetting about her and Isaac's plan and rushing downstairs. Jenna watched her run downstairs, then, figuring she could get revenge on Garet later, followed her Imilian friend downstairs.  
  
"Isaac! Calm down, buddy!"  
  
Garet was having difficulty getting Isaac to relax, because the blonde Venus Adept was running around the room like a child fed too much caffeine. Garet had already unsuccessfully tried to stop Isaac with a flare wall... but he'd missed and roasted a side table.  
  
He was about to give up when Mia rushed into the room to find Isaac still running around like the Energiser Bunny.  
  
"Isaac!" she called loudly. "What's the matter?"  
  
Isaac froze in his tracks, blinked and stared at Mia in uncertainty.  
  
"M... Mia, is that you?"  
  
"Isaac, what's wrong?" Mia repeated. "Did you hear something horrible on the news?"  
  
This caused Isaac to rush over to her and hold her tight. Jenna finally arrived into the room to find Garet sweatdropping and leaning on the left wall, Mia looking at her fiancé worriedly and being crushed by Isaac who seemed speechless. She caught Garet's eye and he tried to shrug casually, making her raise an eyebrow in confusion.  
  
"Is... is it true?" Isaac gasped. "You're going to marry Alex instead of me?"  
  
"Huh?" Mia and Jenna both became confused, and Mia said, "What are you talking about? I'd never marry that jerk!"  
  
"Y-You wouldn't?" Isaac stammered. "But -"  
  
"Listen, Isaac," Mia said sternly, and Isaac looked into her face. "You're the only one I love, the only one I'll marry. You are my fiancé, and I'll marry no one else. I don't know what you've been told, but Prox will be melting before my love for you will end."  
  
Isaac relaxed at last, released Mia so that she could move, and smiled, making Mia smile in relief as well.  
  
"I'm-I'm sorry," he said. "Garet told me that -"  
  
Garet's eyes widened as Jenna gave him a twisted face but Mia only heard the first of Isaac's words.  
  
"Don't apologise," she said gently. "The fact that you care so much to be worried about a stupid rumour is more than enough for me."  
  
"Eheh..." Isaac's rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment and Mia giggled and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed and held her tightly in his arms and they swayed on the spot.  
  
Meanwhile, Jenna was giving Garet the glare of Death three times over.  
  
"Why did you tell him that garbage about Mia and Alex?" she hissed angrily, being careful not to disturb Isaac and Mia's special moment.  
  
"He was unconscious," Garet said in self-defence. "I thought it would be the best way to wake him up..."  
  
He backed towards the open front door in fear when Jenna's face twisted into a freaky dagger glare. 3... 2... 1...  
  
"GARET!!!" Jenna screamed, almost breaking the china. Garet streaked out the door, a fuming Jenna behind him, cursing at him and shooting too many death threats at him to count.  
  
Inside the house, Isaac and Mia were lost in their own world as they continued to sway on the spot.  
  
"You know," Isaac said, breaking the silence, "I would never let you marry Alex anyway."  
  
"I know," Mia said. "That's why I refused his proposal a few days ago."  
  
"What?!" Isaac's face went pale as a ghost again. "H-He propos-"  
  
"Relax," Mia said, smiling and ruffling Isaac's spiky blonde hair. "I was only messing with you."  
  
"Mia -" Isaac began, but Mia stopped him.  
  
"Yes?" she asked, smiling seductively at him, and once again he wavered under the Mercury Adept's other power besides Psynergy. {"And for the record, a girl's second-most lethal weapon, other than a swift kick in the gona - er, yeah."} He kissed her tenderly on the lips and they remained in each other's arms.  
  
  
  
=  
  
Lord Cynic: "My writer's block is gone!"  
  
Small crowd: "Yay!"  
  
Lord Cynic: "Sorry this chapter only involved Isaac, Mia, Garet and Jenna for most of it. The mystery of the two Piers will be revealed probably in the next chapter."  
  
Small crowd: *Gasp*  
  
=  
  
Chapter 4: "Piers... and Piers? What the -" 


	6. The comprehensive guide to Valean wildli

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
PROLOGUE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Cynic: "Today's misadventures of me and the Minis is postponed 'til later."

Mini's: (in their cages) "Let us out!!!"

Lord Cynic: "Heh heh."

* * *

Mini Isaac: "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun, Nintendo and Camelot Soft do."   
Lord Cynic: "And it turns out, The E3 thingy... was a rumour. Meh."

Mini Garet: "Man..."

Lord Cynic: "Oh, and if anyone is reading this like the series I'm trying to make it... I need to clear up a few things. Firstly, the age: I will presume and assume that the Golden Sun adventure took 2 years to complete, from Isaac and Garet leaving Vale to everyone finally returning to find Vale a crater. Therefore, here are the following ages: Isaac (19); Garet (19); Jenna (19); Felix (20); Mia: (19); Ivan (17); Sheba (16); Piers (Lord who knows); Kraden (er... 2 years older than he was at the start, I'll say 54-ish). Secondly... um... actually, that's it. So... um..." He rereads his Babysitter Mia story and finds something that makes everything quite confusing. "Forget that I said in Chapter 4 & 5 that this is set 5 months after the adventure. It's not, that wouldn't be practical, especially for something that took 2 games to complete. Anyway, the second thing... second thing... oh, I forgot."

Everyone falls down in stupidity.

Lord Cynic: "Oh, that's right... haha... "The Secret Life of Us", the original show I copied the name from (without using the actual name), got axed weeeeeks ago. I just started watching it too... bah."

* * *

Chapter 5: "The comprehensive guide to Valean wildlife" 

"Okay, he's coming this way!" Smothering their laughter, Ivan and Sheba scrambled behind some bushes to hide as Felix approached. In front of him, an oddly placed rope hung from a tree near Ivan and Sheba's hiding spot. As he walked up to the clearly visible rope, Felix became suspicious, especially of the Jupiter Adepts' lack of subtlety.  
"Ivan and Sheba just aren't trying as hard as they used to," he muttered to himself. "Well, they won't be catching me out." Without touching the rope, Felix continued along the path - until he fell into a hole. He landed on the ground with a loud thump and cursed obscenely as Ivan and Sheba appeared above him, smirking malevolently. {"I've never seen a benevolent smirk, but..."}  
"Well, well," Sheba said, looking down at the brown-haired Venus Adept. "We were using this to catch wild Vermin, but we've caught an endangered species instead."  
"What's it called?" Ivan asked here, as the pair ignored Felix's constant cursing. {"Anyone got soap? Preferably the raspberry-flavoured type..."}  
"Hmm..." Sheba looked down at Felix again, who had given up his threats and was now trying to scramble out of the hole. "I think it's called the Brown-Furred Valean Primate, the only one of its kinds." Felix helplessly slid down the side of the hole, and Sheba smirked again. "A very verbal creature with poor climbing abilities."  
Infuriated, the now seething Felix began to form an Odyssey blade with his Psynergy. Sheba and Ivan looked at each other, and they ran into the bushes as the Odyssey slammed into the ground where they once stood. From their hiding spot, they watched Felix rise out of the hole using stone spires as steps. Once out of the 'Vermin' trap, Felix's face twisted into some kind of maniacal grin as his eyes scanned his surroundings.  
"Where are those little runts?" he muttered to himself, as he started to use his Odyssey blade (which owns Isaac's Ragnarok sword... sorry) to slice surrounding trees in two.  
"Let's get outta here!" Ivan whispered urgently to Sheba. "One of these trees might crush us!"  
"Yeah, let's go," Sheba agreed, and they crept out of the bushes and sprinted back to town. Felix was too busy being an Adept lumberjack to notice that the Jupiter Adepts had disappeared until angry bees started to swarm towards him. "Oh, Zagan sticks," he mumbled meekly, and the Brown-Furred Valean Primate sprinted out of the forest as the furious bees have pursuit.

Evil Piers {"We'll just call him EP"} was halfway towards Isaac's house when he heard a desperate cry.   
"Help! Pyromaniac girl on the loose!"   
He smirked when a tall, red-coloured form appeared somewhere in the distance, followed by a significantly shorter brown-coloured form. As they grew closer, EP realised that the coloured forms were Garet and Jenna, the redhead being chased by a psychotic brown-haired/brunette (I guess brunette might fit the bill... I'm kinda colour confused), who was pelting balls of flame at him.   
"Help - oww! She's go - ah! She's gone crazy!" Garet yelled, then yelped in pain as a ball of flame made contact.   
"I'll show you crazy!" Jenna hissed angrily, and she propelled several fireballs into the air. Garet squeaked in fear as the fireballs started to shoot back down on him. EP laughed nastily at Garet's predicament, until a stray fireball singed his backside and sent him flying through the air towards Isaac's house.   
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Ding "What was that?" Garet asked, stopping in his tracks. Surprised by Garet's sudden halt, Jenna skidded and collided with him.   
"Agh!"   
As they lay on the ground, Sheba and Ivan burst onto the scene. One look at the crumpled Mars Adepts had them rolling on the ground in laughter. As the Mars Adepts climbed back onto their feet, they glared upon the chuckling blondes.   
"That wasn't what you think!" Jenna said angrily as Sheba and Ivan regained their composure. "It was an accident!" However, both her and Garet had red tinges on their cheeks and Sheba and Ivan nearly cracked up laughing again.   
"Not what from I saw," Ivan said in-between smothered giggles. He made kissy-kissy noises and faces until he was silenced by a sharp whack on the head from Jenna.   
"Don't worry," Sheba said snidely, as Ivan rubbed his head in pain. "We'll keep your 'accident' a secret." Before Garet or Jenna could respond to defend themselves, a strange sight caught everyone's attention. Felix the wonderful, wonderful cat... er, I mean the Brown-Furred Valean Primate was being chased not only by the bees, but the birds, bats and badgers. Everyone watched in amusement at the irony of Felix's situation: He could slash through dragons and other weird beasts, but couldn't defend himself against Weyard's lesser creatures. Since Felix and his pursuers transfixed everyone, Garet took this chance to slip away quietly. Felix and the animals had disappeared before anyone had noticed that Garet was gone. "Blast!" Jenna cursed, and the Brunette Flame Jaguar stomped off to find her prey: the Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee.   
"Well," Sheba said finally, after everyone was gone, "I guess we better check on Isaac and Mia. Hopefully we don't have to pry them apart from each other." Ivan nodded and the two Blonde Trouble-Making Rodents started towards Isaac's house.

=

"You know," Mia said softly, "while I'd love to stay like this, I fear we might get stuck together."   
Isaac and Mia, the Valean and Imilean Turtledoves, had settled onto a couch and were nestling in each other's arms. After a session of passionate kissing that defied the laws of human oxygen, they had fallen asleep briefly. However, now they were wide-awake, and they reluctantly broke apart from each other, also they still maintained intense eye contact. However, before anything bright and bubbly Yoshi sweet {"I tried hard to make that expression work... kinda"} could happen, they heard a cry from outside. As they listened, it became louder and louder.   
"... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."   
CRASH   
Evil Piers (unknown to Isaac or Mia) crashed through the roof of the TV room and fell onto a conveniently placed armchair. Isaac and Mia looked at each other than hurried other to Evil Piers' aid.   
"Are you all right?" Mia asked urgently as the evil counterpart of the Lemurian recovered to find himself exactly where he wanted to be.   
"Yes... I'm fine," he said, imitating Normal Piers' calm voice. "I just had a nasty fall, that's all."   
"Oh dear," Mia said sympathetically. Isaac wasn't paying attention to any of this, because he was staring at the hole in the roof with a terrified expression on his face.   
"Mum will kill me when she sees this," he whimpered. Mia wasn't impressed at Isaac's lack of concern for 'Piers' and she stomped on his foot. "Ack! Oh, uh, sorry, um, you all right, Piers?"   
Both EP and Mia fell down in stupidity, and Isaac sweatdropped, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. After the Mercury Adepts recovered, and Isaac received a whack on the head by Mia, EP remembered why he came there in the first place (even if by accident).   
"Oh, Isaac," he said, "I wondered if I could talk to you for a moment."   
"Oh." Isaac said slowly, then he looked over at Mia. "Mia?"   
"I'll be upstairs if you need me," she said, smiling (obviously it doesn't take her long to forgive and forget even the tiniest of things). Before she departed up the stairs, she blew her fiancé a kiss. The Venus Adept caught it in his hand and blew her a kiss back. She put a hand to her cheek where the imaginary kiss would've made contact and he winked at her. Blushing light, Mia went upstairs.   
EP was making gagging noises while this was taking place, but he changed his expression back to serious when Isaac addressed him.   
"What's up?" the blonde Venus Adept asked, but he stepped back when the Mad Demon mark on EP's forehead glowed fiercely. 'I thought that thing looked weird', he thought to himself, then said aloud, "Who are you?"   
"I am... Picard!" EP said, revealing his true identity. {"Well, honestly, who else did you think he was?"} "I have to talk with a certain friend of yours."   
As he said that, the golden ring around Isaac's wrist glowed malevolently. Isaac's appearance suddenly transposed: his usually spikey blonde hair stood almost as tall as Garet's and changed from blonde to silver; and his eyes transformed from peaceful and polite blue to a bright green that shifted his face from calm and friendly to hostile and impatient. {"For the record, it's hard to find a suitable synonym for 'changed'."}   
After his transformation, 'Yami' Isaac {"I'm just asking for a butt kicking now..."} folded his arms in contempt and said, "Okay, what do you want?"   
Picard smirked.   
"It's been a while... Robin." Yami Isaac (or Robin, I guess) watched Picard as he walked around the room. Robin didn't care why Piers' evil clone was here, only that he was getting annoyed at being summoned against his will.   
"I don't have to watch you do a marathon around the room," Robin said spitefully. "I'll ask you again - What do you want?"   
"I just have a favour to ask of you," Picard said calmly, stopping at the doorway between the room and the kitchen. Robin's eyes narrowed further.   
"I don't do favours," he said coldly.   
"Perhaps," Picard said calmly still, ignoring Robin's unfriendly tone, "but I'm sure you wouldn't mind causing some... chaos." "Go on."   
"Wel - What's that?" The two looked into the hallway to see Mia vacuuming upstairs. Robin didn't want to be caught by the female Mercury Adept, so he transformed back into the blonde, blue-eyed Venus Adept. As Robin finished his transformation back into Isaac, Picard disappeared, but not before saying,   
"We shall meet again."   
When Isaac regained consciousness (that is, his own personality... whatever), he shook his head in confusion. He noticed that 'Piers' was gone and his confusion increased. "I feel light-headed... I need a rest." He collapsed onto a couch and fell asleep to Mia's vacuuming. 

=

"Yes, hello. I'd like to offer my services to your company." Piers (the real one) was in a telephone booth somewhere along the streets of Vale. Although he wore a calm expression on his face, the sweat dripping of his forehead his forehead suggested that he'd been having some difficult conversations that ended in frustration. However, Lady Luck was bound to smile down on him at any day... week... month?   
"Overseas experience? Well, I have travelled around most of Weyard. I've been mistaken for a Champa thief in Madra... had to travel to Kibombo during the witch doctor's ceremony... I've been to Prox in the far north of Weyard..."   
Long silence as Piers listened to the receiver. As the voice on the other end of the phone responded, Piers' eyes narrowed in disbelief. "I'm not talking fantasy!" he yelled into the phone angrily. "I've honestly been to all of those places!"   
Another silence as Piers listened. Suddenly, his expression softened, and he topped looking like he wanted to Diamond Berg the whole telephone booth to pieces. "Okay, thank you. I'll be there in 20 minutes."   
He placed the phone back onto its hook, looking ecstatic. "At last, a chance to prove my travelling expertise! Yes, ye -" Piers forgot that the booth door was closed, so he smacked into it while jumping for joy. As the Lemurian lay dazed against the inside of the telephone booth, he stammered absent-mindedly.

"... It's fun to stay at the... Y.... M... C... A..."

* * *

**The Comprehensive Guide to Vale Wildlife Analysis**

**Brown-Haired Valean Primate**   
Strengths: Calm; strong; responsible

Weaknesses: Impatient; hostile

**Blonde Trouble-Making Rodents**

Strengths: Cunning; intelligent

Weaknesses: Annoying; physically weak

**Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee**

Strengths: Brute strength; loyalty

Weaknesses: Dim-witted; clumsy; Brunette, Flame Jaguars

**Brunette Flame Jaguar**

Strengths: Dominating; sly

Weaknesses: Temperamental; uncontrollable

**Valean Turtle Dove**

Strengths: Romantic; brave; polite

Weaknesses: Quiet; shy; Imilean Turtle Doves

**Imilean Turtle Dove (imported)**

Strengths: Kind; friendly; helpful

Weaknesses: Quiet; hidden tempers; Valean Turtle Doves

**Lemurian Long-Winded Owl (imported)**

Strengths: Wise, well travelled

Weaknesses: Dull; Unpopular breed

* * *

Lord Cynic: "Okay, time for a confession. At the time of writing this, it's actually 23/04/04, but I have deliberately kept this from being updated because I have a good excuse. Ready? Well... it's the one-year anniversary of my Golden Sun adventures! Okay, maybe that's not a good excuse... oh well. Good enough reason for me to pour out with a barrage of updates and a new fanfic, I reckon." Slips away quietly

* * *

Reader's Spotlight (RUN!!!)

**"Black Demon567"**   
Oh, I've got a goooooood impression of what the wedding will be... or so the Golden Sun crew tell me. ;

**"Joker's Specter"**

Meh... I spellcheck on Word... maybe I miss on what they don't pick up on... oh well. This is a quicker update, roooound about the same length... I hope. Bada boom.

**"Anime-Master7"**

Hope you like this chapter.

**"LilTyphoon"**

All in due time, my friend... I place $5 bucks on the next chapter!

**"Yugi the Other White Meat"**

I thought about that. Really hard... well, as hard as I could in school, anyway. Still, maybe Mia can offer us a flashback... if Isaac wants to ask... maybe I should bribe them both...

**"cheetah7071"**

Ah, better late than never, eh? No worries. This is a quick update with a rather lengthy chapter, I hope. Cheers.

* * *

Next chapter: "How to catch a Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee, Jenna style." 


	7. The problems about marriage

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
PROLOGUE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mini Jenna: "We're baaaaaaack!"  
Lord Cynic: "... Huh?"  
Mini Ivan: "You couldn't get away from us forever!"  
Lord Cynic: "Oh, NO!!!"  
Mini Garet: "Where's the kitchen, I'm starvin'!"  
Mini Isaac: "It's okay Cyn, we won't blow up anything."  
Mini Sheba: "Yet."  
Lord Cynic: "!!!" OO;

* * *

Mini Jenna: "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun."  
Mini Garet: "Cynic's a weirdo, and that's how he's gonna stay singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo."  
Lord Cynic: ¬¬ "I'm not the only one then..."

* * *

Lord Cynic: "As people have noticed, FFnet's cracked down on chat/script style fanfics. Luckily for me, I managed to delete mine in time before getting disabled. That means, "Prank or Promise" or my TSLOA series, and my Pokemon fanfics, have had to be deleted. Sorry for any inconvenience. Now, to the chapter!"

* * *

Chapter 6 - The problems about marriage

"Be vewy, vewy quiet... I'm hunting Gawets... huh huh huh huh..."  
Jenna strolled through the forest casually, a fireball blazing in her hand. Although her pace was light and carefree, her eyes had a burning - to toast a certain redhead. In fact, she was constantly incinerating shrubbery off stems and leaves off trees. Birds, squirrels and other wildlife huddled together inside a burrow in fear to hide from Jenna's pyromania, but one creature was more desperate than anything else to conceal himself.  
A redhead teenager crouched inside a bush, watching in fear as Jenna continued to roast everything in her path. He became even more fretful when Jenna was mere metres from his hiding spot.  
'Don't let her see me, don't let her see me,' Garet thought desperately. 'I'm too young to lose my hair!'  
"Oh, Gawey!" Jenna sang mockingly. "Where are yooooouuuuu? Come on out, I won't hurt you... much."  
"Liar!... oops..."  
"A-ha!"  
Garet yelped as a ball of flame singed the top of his hair. Smelling the smoke of his charred broom haircut, he sprung out from the bushes and streaked out of the forest.  
"I wasn't going to kill ya before, but now you're DEAD MEAT!" Jenna yelled as she chased Garet, pelting him with infernos of fire. Garet simply screamed in terror as he tried to escape from the fiery brunette {"Take the double meaning as you will"}.

Tensions were still pretty high between Granite and Tonic. Tonic was still ticked off at Granite's attitude to his Venus Adept master, and he was still nursing a sore head. They were, however, still sitting on the same ledge in Isaac's wardrobe, albeit with an aura of hostility between them.  
Finally, heaving a heavy sigh, Granite turned to Tonic. Noticing that he was staring at her, Tonic swung around slowly to face him.  
"What do you want?" she asked sharply. Granite hesitated, but he built up the confidence to reply.  
"I... I wanted to apologise for my behaviour before," he said quietly. Tonic became taken aback but listened to what he had to say. "I was rude, and I had no right to act the way I did. I hope you can forgive me, but I'll understand if you don't."  
Tonic's face softened, and when Granite lowered his head in rejection she pounced on him, almost making both of them fall off the shelf. When he'd regained his senses, Granite looked up to see Tonic smiling serenely at him.  
"Toni -" he began, but he was silenced when Tonic's lips locked with his. After they released, he blurted, "I wanna marry ya!"  
Tonic's eyes widened. "Really?"  
"But I can't," Tonic admitted sadly. "Djinni marriage is illegal."  
"We'll see about that!" Tonic jumped down onto the floor, then looked up at the confused Venus Djinn. "Come on, we gotta find the others so that they can help us!"  
"Help us?" Granite cocked his head to one side, nearly toppling off the shelf himself. "With what?"  
"We're going to the Elder's Sanctum." Tonic explained. We're gonna have Djinni legalised... or someone's gonna get hurt."  
"Uh... okay."  
"Well, come on, let's go find the others."  
Granite shrugged but jumped out of the wardrobe and followed Tonic towards Mia's bedroom. Downstairs, their human masters (or counterparts, romance wise) were passing a milestone in their relationship.

"W... wow."  
"That... that was intense."  
"I quite enjoyed it."  
"Me too."  
Faces sweating, hair wet and sticking in different directions (more so in the young male's case), Isaac and Mia sat up straight on the couch they'd been sharing. The paper and coffee mugs on the side table had long since been forgotten, but a notebook and some pens lay untidily on the floor. The tired but also pleased and energetic smiles on the teenagers' faces suggested the satisfaction of their efforts.  
"At last, the wedding shop list is complete," Mia said breathlessly, brushing hair away from her eyes.  
"Planning a wedding has been as difficult as the Wind Adept has foreseen," Isaac said mysteriously. When Mia looked at him strangely, he simply smiled and shook his head.

"So, I heard about the big news recently," Ivan said, as the guys - Ivan, Felix, Isaac, Garet and Piers (not Picard) - sat at a table in the newly constructed café. "Start the day with our own Golden Sun," was its philosophy. As Ivan rightfully commented on the day of the caf's opening: "They're trying to milk as much as they can out of our adventure."  
It was half an hour later that they figured out the unintentional pun.  
In the present time, however, Isaac looked at Ivan in a confused manner.  
"What big news?" he asked. He'd only been half-listening to start with though: the sugar he'd been spooning into his coffee had built up into a small hill atop the froth.  
"Big news? Where?" Garet asked stupidly. He'd been staring at the caf's large neon sign: 'Land of the Rising Golden Sun' (thus proving Ivan's point), so he had no idea what was going on.  
"Not in your universe, that's for sure," Felix muttered.  
"Your big news," Ivan said, ignoring Garet and Felix and looking at Isaac. "The first of us to leave the brotherhood is... Isaac!"  
"You did the deed?" Garet asked stupidly still. Felix flicked the back of Garet's head harshly, and he yelped in pain and glared at the brunette.  
"Unless there's something he's not telling us, no," Ivan said. 'I'll check it later though,' he added as an afterthought. "He and Mia will be walking down the road of matrimony soon."  
Isaac reddened with embarrassment, but Garet's stupidity never ceased to amaze those not in the conversation.  
"Soon? Is that road not built yet or someth - OWW!"  
"Idiot," Felix growled as Garet rubbed his head in pain. "He means they're getting married."  
"Oh, that's splendid!" Piers cried in excitement. Everyone jumped; they'd forgotten he was also sitting with them. "When's the big day?"  
"We haven't decided yet," Isaac admitted. "We haven't finalised the wedding plans or anything."  
"Beware," Ivan said. "Planning weddings is risky business. Just hope Mia doesn't go asking your mum to help her."  
"How'd you come to know about weddings, Ivan?" Garet asked, rescuing himself at last from Felix's death glares.  
"Travelling with Master Hammet had its advantages," Ivan explained. "He told me stories about his romances with Lady Layana, including the fiasco that was their wedding."  
Ivan was about to go into detail when Felix's watch beeped.  
"Well, fellas," he said, stepping to his feet, "I have a meeting to catch. Isaac, good luck, Garet, good riddance." Felix then left the café rather quickly, leaving some suspicious stares behind.  
"I wonder why he left so quickly," Ivan said.  
"I don't think he'd tell us if he asked," Isaac replied cynically.  
"I guess we'll just have to find out then," Ivan declared, climbing out of his chair. Isaac followed suit, but Piers hesitated. Garet wasn't mentally present - he was humming Spanish Flea to himself.  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Piers asked apprehensively. "It'd his own business, whatever it is."  
"Then it's our business to find out," Ivan said with finality.  
"But -"  
"Piers," Isaac said exasperatedly, "I'm only going to say this once: Grow some balls and be a man. Don't let fear turn you into a wuss." He was about to pause for a reaction when his watch also beeped. "Oh crap, I better get home before Mia kicks my butt." He sped off as fast as he could, Ivan and Piers raising eyebrows after him.  
"And he's the one telling me to grow balls," Piers grumbled. Ivan smirked as Garet finally returned from his mental stupor. The next line he said summed up his overall intelligence throughout the conversation.  
"Good riddance? What's that supposed to mean?!"

"So," Isaac began, before Mia could say anything, "what will you be buying first?"  
"I don't know," Mia replied uncertain, wringing her wrists. "Maybe I should ask Dora and see what she thinks."  
"M-My mum?" Ivan's words echoed in Isaac's head: 'Mothers and weddings make for embarrassing experiences. Under no circumstances should you allow Mia to ask Dora for help, or expect a global takeover of your wedding.' "Um, I think there's something else we should do first," Isaac said aloud.  
"What's that?" Mia asked curiously.  
"Hook our Mars Adept chums up for the double wedding," Isaac replied.  
"Oh, that's right!" Mia cried, remembering at last. "Any idea where they are?"  
Garet and Jenna streaked past the window, Garet screaming, Jenna screaming abuse. Behind them, blazing straw roofs, charred, stripped trees and shish-kebabed raccoons littered the streets in the wake of Jenna's destructive pursuit.  
"No idea," Isaac answered, brows furrowing. He and Mia sat back against the couch, staring at each other in confusion. It wasn't long before they were pashing again.

"Owww... not again..."  
Ivan and Sheba were planning another nasty trick when a scar on Ivan's left shoulder stung sharply.  
"What is it?" Sheba asked, with a hint of indifference as she tied string together.  
"It's a scar... on my left shoulder," Ivan said, rubbing it sorely.  
"I never knew about it," Sheba said, slightly intrigued.  
"No one does," Ivan explained. "However, I think I know why it's stinging... it's done this before."  
"It has?" Sheba raised an eyebrow. "What does it mean?"  
"... Isaac and Mia are pashing again," Ivan said disgustedly, ears turning into slits. Sheba smirked and continued tying the string.

"Zzz... I am... Super Sap! ... Behold, my sappiness!... zzz..."  
Flint and Fizz had to cover their mouths to smother their laughter. Behind them, Dew (who'd taken to thinking of Fizz as an older sister and following her everywhere) was giggling uncontrollably. Flint and Fizz 'shh'ed at her, and silently they approached the sleeping Venus Djinn. In Flint's paw (or whatever) was a blindfold, and when they were close enough he tied it around Sap's eyes.  
When the blindfold was tied tightly around Sap's eyes, Fizz gave the okay to Dew, who nodded and stood in the middle of Mia's room. The other Venus and Mercury Djinni watched in amusement as Dew took in a deep breath and glanced at the snoozing Sap. When she saw he was still sleeping, she screamed at the top of her voice.  
"HELP! SUPER SAP! I'm in danger! Help!!!"  
Every other Djinni except Flint, Fizz and Sap fell over into unconsciousness.  
"Geez, she's a big screamer," Flint said to Fizz, both who'd been wearing miniature earplugs. "Even I could hear her through these things."  
"Trust me," Fizz said irritably, yanking her plugs out of her ears, "if you've spent more than two weeks alone with her for company, you'll be wishing she had volume control."  
Flint raised an eyebrow, but he had no time to open his mouth before 'Super Sap' sprang into action. {"Took him long enough."}  
"Fear not, fair maiden! Super Sap is on his way! I... dear Cybele, my vision's gone!" He tried to look around, but Flint's blindfold blocked out his vision. "This must've been the work of my notorious nemesis, Flint the Fiend!"  
Fizz and Dew stared incredulously at Flint, who said in self-defence, "Just because I tripped him into the toilet (after Garet was finished), doesn't mean he has to make me his enemy."  
"Flint!" Sap called. "Stop being a coward and show yourself!"  
Flint and Fizz (along with some of the other Djinni) were getting rather exasperated when Granite and Tonic arrived. One look at the scene before them, and large sweatdrops slid down the back of their heads.  
"What the -" Granite started, but upon hearing a new voice Sap's attentions were switched to the new arrivals.  
"I know that voice!" he declared. "It must be none other than Flint the Fiend's slimy sidekick, Grimy Granite! (Granite scowled.) And where there's Grimy Granite, there's his equally devious girlfriend, Terror Tonic!"  
Tonic blushed, but an anger vein throbbed on Granite's forehead. However, Sap still hadn't realised the blindfold around his eyes, so he stumbled around blindly. Flint and Fizz sniggered out of earshot of Sap, and that's when Tonic and Granite remembered their original purpose for being there.  
"Hey, guys," Tonic began, "can I have your attention?"  
No one gave any notice, and Granite shrugged at Tonic. She tried again.  
"Guys? Hello? Can you hear me?"  
Again, no one but Granite noticed her, and she became extremely ticked off.  
"HEY, I'M TALKING HERE!!!"  
The reaction to this was extraordinary: Flint and Fizz froze on the spot, mouths gaping open; 'Super' Sap was stuck in mid-leap (Lord knows how he managed to do it in the first place with the blindfold); Granite and Dew had shrunk anime-style; and other Djinni were sweatdropping nervously. Tonic realised these reactions to her little outburst and blushed darkly.  
"Um... hello," she mumbled in a small voice. "Erm... Granite has something to ask all of you."  
Several tiny bodies hit all types of surfaces (beds, wardrobes, Venus fly traps... no comment) as Djinn after Djinn fell down in stupidity.  
"ARGH!!! Lemme out!" Ground screamed as the Venus flytrap tried to eat him up (how ironic). Some Mercury Djinn - Hail, Dew and Spritz - sighed sympathetically and, with a little struggle managed to tug Ground free from the evil plantation.  
"What... what is that thing?" he gasped, staring horrified at the fly trap, which was snapping and, strangely enough its eyes were gleaming. "... Why does it have eyes?"  
Somewhere, Super Mario music played and a "Wa-hoo!" was heard. Sounds of bouncing and "Mamma mia!" filled the confused silence, and the Djinni became rather perplexed as to the sanity of this story.  
"What the heck is going on here?" Flint demanded. "What is that thing and what's it doing here?"  
"I know!" Mist piped up. "Isaac had it imported from somewhere, and he gave it to Mia as a present before they got together. She's been watering it with her Psynergy everyday. I've watched her tend to it, feed it and trim it whenever she's not with Isaac."  
"Well," Flint said, scratching the top of his head, "I guess that explains the eyes on it..."  
"Er, fellow Djinn community," Granite called out, "can I have your attention again?"  
The others had forgotten he and Tonic were there with a purpose, and they turned back to the couple. Satisfied finally that she was being received their full attention, Tonic spoke up.  
"Okay, first thing's first, Granite and I are unofficially engaged," she announced, although she couldn't help turning a healthy magenta as she said it. At once, everyone started crowding around them, congratulating Tonic and patting Granite on the back. Granite nearly fell in range of the Venus flytrap again and tried to avert everyone's attention to the subject matter.  
"Anyway," he said, when he was able to escape everyone trying to suffocate him, "although we're sort of engaged, there's still a problem that prevents us from getting married."  
"Ah, yes," Quartz mused, puffing a miniature pipe. "Weyard laws prohibit Djinni marriages from happening."  
"That's what we've come here for," Tonic said, taking over. "We need people to help us override the matrimony laws and make Djinni marriage legal."  
"I'm in," Flint said almost immediately. "Anything to get away from that maniac Sap."  
"What was that, Fiend?" Sap called from inside a chest of drawers (again, Lord knows how he got inside it in the first place). "I challenge you to a duel!"  
"Can we hurry it?" Flint muttered to Granite and Tonic. "He's starting to drive me nuts."  
"Why's he have the blindfold on?" Granite asked, listening to Sap constantly banging the insides of the drawer to try and escape.  
"It was meant to be a trick," Flint explained. "Somehow, I think it's gone too far."  
"I'll come too," Fizz said aloud, joining the growing band of Djinni "It'll give me some good ideas for more pranks."  
Granite and Tonic sweatdropped, but as soon as Fizz announced her joining on the quest, Dew piped up as well.  
"I'm coming too! Can I, Fizz? Can I? Pwwweeeaaaseee?!"  
"Oh, fine!" Fizz said exasperatedly. "Just, keep it down, will ya?"  
"Okee," Dew said, smiling widely (i.e., the face).  
Granite and Tonic looked at each other, wondering how many of their friends were willing to try and help them on their quest. Before they could even sigh, Vine and Bane had appeared mysteriously behind them.  
"Vine and Bane, reporting for duty!" they said together.  
"AAH!" Granite and Tonic jumped, and Tonic said irritably, "Don't do that!"  
"Sorry," Vine and Bane muttered, drooping their heads.  
"Anyone else?" Granite called out. "I think we have room for one more!"  
"Count me in, then," Sleet said, hopping beside Flint and Fizz. "I'm always up for a little adventure.  
Granite and Tonic decided there were enough, if not too many helpers and started to lead the way out of the bedroom and out of the house.  
After everyone departed, the remaining Djinni - Quartz, Ground, Hail, Spritz, Mist (and Sap) - shrugged.  
"What should we do now?" Ground asked, looking around the bedroom.  
"I dunno," Spritz said, sitting on the bed and heaving a sigh. "Guess we're stuck by ourselves."  
"Alas!" Sap cried from inside the drawer. "That Flint the Fiend has encased me in an unescapable cage! That rotten sneak!"  
"Oh no," Spritz groaned. "I forgot about him."  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

At least half an hour had passed since the pursuit of Felix had begun. The angry forest wildlife was still trying to exact revenge on the Venus Adept, and slowly they'd grown in numbers. It also didn't help Felix that certain blonde Jupiter Adepts had tipped the animals off about his previous hiding spots, so he had nowhere to take cover from the inevitable assault.  
After a long period of running without rest, the hunt for the brunette had finally reached the houses of Vale. Felix dashed into the nearest house and slammed the door behind him. Several bees collided into the door, and Felix jumped back in alarm when their stingers started protruding through the wooden door. He desperately glanced around for somewhere to conceal himself, when he heard singing coming from upstairs. Forgetting the wrath of the forest creatures if they managed to burst inside, Felix listened to the serene music.  
'I wonder who that is,' Felix thought to himself. 'Sounds kinda pretty.'  
Felix was about to get the absolute Venus freaked out of him when the source of the music proceeded downstairs. The person, still singing, walked freely down the stairs, unsuspecting of the intruder. As she strolled into the living room where Felix currently was, Felix went absolutely pale and the girl mortified. They took one look at each other and screamed.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

* * *

Mini Garet: "Hey, there's no food!"  
Lord Cynic: "... I hid it all. No one getting into my sta -"  
Mini Jenna: "Found them!"  
Lord Cynic: "NOOOO!!!"

* * *

**Reviewer's Spotlight (I'm watching you... somehow)**

**"Black Demon567"**  
Yep, Robin is Isaac's Japanese name. Personally, Isaac sounds better, but that's just my opinion. We'll see Robin and Picard in the next chapter, hopefully.

**"Anime-Master7"**  
... eh, sorry. Hope the length of the chapter makes up for the delay of the update.

**"Link015"**  
Seems every reviewer likes the anime classifications. You've got a weird Mia there, though... just sayin'.

**"Joker's Specter"**

... well, took me a long time to update. Cancels out, dun it? Hopefully the next chapter will be quicker than this took. Maybe... 3 weeks? Eh.

**"Lord Slasher"**  
And that translates to... a death threat. Lovely. Thanks for the review, though. Makes me feel speeeecial. Lah!

* * *

Chapter 7: Robin and Picard up to some devious plays. (I just suck at chapter titles, so meh.)


	8. I'm scaaaaaming away

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
PROLOGUE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lord Cynic: "I'm sailing away, on an open course for the Virgin Seas..."  
Mini Isaac: "Huh?"  
Lord Cynic: (Takes in a deep breath) (very quickly) "'Cause I've got to be free, free to face a life that's ahead of me. On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard. We'll search for tommorow, on every shore. and I'll try, oh Lord I'll try, to carry on."  
Mini Mia: "???"  
Lord Cynic: "Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me, lads." (Repeats 4 times and pants heavily)  
Mini Ivan: "Does anyone know what he's on about?"  
On his MP3 list, "9 Minutes of Cartman quotes" is playing.  
Mini Jenna: "OHHHH... what an idiot."  
Lord Cynic: 

* * *

Mini Garet: "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun, or that song. According to this computer screen, the song is Sailing Away by Stix... don't ask me..."

* * *

Chapter 7: "I'm saaaailing away..." (Lord Cynic: "That's not it!")  
  
TAKE TWO:  
  
"I'm scaaaaaming away..." (Cynic: "ARGH!!!")  
  
"YOU PERVERT!!!"  
Upon realising whom the intruder was the girl from the shower threw a vase at Felix's head. The brunette male dodged awkwardly to his side and scrambled behind a couch for safety as the girl looked for another projectile.  
"God damnit!" he yelled. "I didn't know whose house this was! Do you think I wanted to see Garet's sister in a towel!?"  
Felix regretted those words as the girl (which for argument's sake we'll keep as Kay) narrowed her eyes at him. Even though she wasn't an adept, Kay shot lightning bolts from her eyes and he jumped back in alarm.  
"What right do you have to say that?!" she shrieked. "I'm not the one who barged in here without being welcome! I'm not the brother of a snobbish, loudmouth brat who doesn't know when to keep her voice down!"  
'Touché,' Felix thought, then his eyes narrowed. "In case you haven't noticed, the thousands of bee stingers in the door almost shish-kebabed me! If it were my choice, I'd be gone long ago!"  
"Then go!" Kay shrieked, causing Felix to fall over the back of a chair. "I'm still wearing a towel for Mars' sake!"  
Felix looked her up and down while trying not to look like a pervert.  
"So you are. Might wanna get some clothes on you, yes - whoa!" He sped out the door as Kay threw another vase at his head.  
"SICK BA -"  
  
Ivan knelt down on the ground, clutching the scar on his shoulder. Sheba turned around from some sign-making and showed as much as concern as she probably could be bothered to.  
"What is it now?" she asked, even thought she knew about Ivan's scar.  
"They're still pashing," he said painfully. "If they don't stop I'm gonna coll -" He stopped, rubbed his shoulder and realised that the scorching pain had disappeared. "What do you know, they did stop."  
"Well," Sheba said reasonably, "they had to come up for air some time. Now hurry up and help me with this. This is gonna be the scam of a lifetime."  
"I hear that," Ivan said, picking up a permanent marker. "This'll be the easiest cash we'll ever scam off the schmos. He hesitated for a second. "Why do I have to wear the leotard?"  
"Because I've got to be the person introducing the act. Don't complain, this'll go down perfectly."  
"That better be the case... this'll tarnish my reputation forever."  
  
"No, no, you can't!"  
Isaac stared bewilderedly at Mia. Her hands were on her hips and her face had a more serious look than Simon Cowell criticising a pathetic act on American Idol. His face looked like the person who got bombed by Cowell.  
"You can't be serious!" he pleaded. "There must be another way!"  
"I've never been more serious," Mia replied coolly but sternly. "I'm going to enlist the help of your mother to help us plan the wedding, and that's final."  
"But... but... but..." Isaac could find no words to say.  
"Relax," Mia said, smiling. "It won't be that bad."  
Staring in horror and incredulous, Isaac watched Mia leave the house. There would be no "Touchdown!" for him. "Australian Idol reference, sorry."  
However, before he could grieve properly the door opened again and Picard entered the house. Isaac frowned and stood his ground against him.  
"What do you want?" he said coldly. Picard found this bitter reception quite amusing and chuckled.  
"It seems you do not remember my business," he said calmly. "Very well... Robin, come out here!"  
"Wha -" Isaac began, but suddenly the golden ring on his wrist began to slow. He entered his "Yu-Gi-Oh"-ish transformation ("Yu-Gi-Isaac", anyone?) and in a few seconds Robin (or, like I've said before, Yami Isaac) had returned.  
"I take it you're here on business?" Robin asked, once the dramatic transformation music had stopped. He folded his arms across his chest, clearly not intending to take any crap.  
"I am indeed," Picard replied, smirking. Robin was not amused. "Oh come now Robin, aren't you glad to be out of that ring for once?"  
"I have better things to be doing than standing here talking to you," Robin spat. "Whatever you have to say, say it!"  
"It's time we sabotage a wedding," Picard declared. "Namely Isaac and Mia's."  
"What the heck would that prove?" Robin asked with increasing contempt.  
"Well," Picard said, contemplating his scheme. "As I see things, Isaac and Mia are set to get married in a few months, right?"  
"A few weeks," Robin replied, "if Mia gets her way. She's very persuasive on my goody-goody counterpart."  
Picard growled in hearing that his scheme might be foiled by time restrictions.  
"Then that means we have to work swiftly." He paced around the room, deep in thought. "Ah, I got it! It'll be the old-fashioned Switch-A-Roo!"  
Robin took some time to register this, then he fell down in stupidity.  
"That's all you came up with?!"  
"Well," Picard muttered, scratching the back of his head slowly, "the change of circumstances cause me to seek more drastic measures."  
"Tell you what," Robin said, losing what patience he still possessed, "how's about I call you if I have an idea?"  
Picard pondered this for a little bit, then nodded.  
"That sounds like a plan," he said finally. "But you'd better come up with a good idea soon."  
"Just leave it to me," Robin said, wearing a sly smirk. Picard nodded again and left the house, leaving Robin alone. "Idiot. As if I'd help a loser like him... that hair's completely ridiculous. However... I've always searched for a reason to stretch my legs." The ring on his wrist glowed violently, and Robin cursed silently to himself. "If only this blasted ring didn't have a time limit."  
After a few seconds, Robin has reverted back to innocent Isaac. After regaining consciousness, Isaac remembered the horror that took place and crumbled to his knees.  
"NO! It'll be a nightmare!!!... Mia and Mum working together on the wedding... the bill will be so humungous; I'll have to get a second job!!!..."  
Obviously either Isaac or Cynic has been watching too many soapies... or worse, both of them. Oh Lord... STOP WATCHING NEIGHBOURS YOU SAPS!!... ("Probably only Australians would understand that.") Cough Moving on...  
  
Granite, Tonic and Co. marched along the dirt path, ignoring the looks of disbelief from passers-by. The lead Djinni swung their arms merrily, occasionally bumping arms (deliberately or not, it's your call). Their band of Delightful Djinni ("Don't I rule... not") followed loudly behind them. Flint and Fizz frequently had to comfort Dew because the humans looking down at her continually freaked her out. This would be much easier if Vine and Bane weren't constantly trying to assist them. Their clown faces and weird noises only succeeded in making Dew more upset. Behind them, Sleet was keeping relatively quiet, although she occasionally stole a glance at Flint and his efforts to console Dew, and a contemptuous glance at Fizz beside him.  
In the frontline, Granite and Tonic were cautiously navigating through the many legs of the humans, constantly calling out to the others to keep them from being lost. Their petite voices remained unnoticed by the humans who were too busy to pay attention to little brown and blue furballs.  
"How far do we have to go?" Tonic asked Granite.  
"Not sure," Granite replied. "It's not easy to see over these people's heads. Yo," he called to the back, "who's got the map? ... hello?"  
Granite and Tonic turned around to find that the others had disappeared all of a sudden. They looked at each other in confusion, then spotted Jenna chasing Garet in the distance... and brown and blue specks on their shoulders.  
"This isn't good," Granite said, stating the obvious, and he and Tonic chased after the Mars Adepts and their Venus and Mercury Djinni stowaways.  
  
'You want to hurt him,' a voice in Jenna's head said snidely. 'You want him to suffer, to feel the humiliation he made you suffer.'  
'But... don't hurt him too much,' another voice said innocently. 'We don't want him to be dead...'  
'I'll sis, stay out of this,' the first voice said. 'Go back to your toys or something, we'll handle this.'  
'That's right,' a third voice muttered sinisterly. 'Now, catch up to him... that's it... use your inner fire to pursue him...'  
'But... c'mon,' the second voice whined. 'Isn't there another way?'  
"What the?" Jenna stopped on the spot. "Who's in there? Can you just give me a straight answer?"  
'Go after him!!!' the first voice demanded, and Jenna shot off once again in pursuit. Up ahead, Garet's 'consciences' weren't having so tough a moral struggle.  
  
'What do you think you're doing?' a voice in Garet's head said. 'Turn around, turn around!'  
'Yeah!' another voice said. 'Turn around you dolt!'  
'You must tell Jenna... how you really feel,' a third voice said in a hypnotic voice.  
"Yes, sir," all three of Garet and the two others voices said in a drone voice.  
'Not you two,' the third voice said, whacking the other voices on the head... somehow. 'Garet... turn around... go to her instead of away from her...'  
"Yes, master," Garet said in his drone voice, and he stopped on the spot. Jenna didn't expect this, so she ran into the back of him and sent all Djinni flying.  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."  
DING  
  
Granite and Tonic were too late as they witnessed their party flying into the distance. Both Djinni groaned exasperatedly.  
"So much for that," Granite said. "I don't know what they were up to, but it looks like it didn't work."  
"Looks like it," Tonic said, with the same air of indifference as Granite. "Shall we carry on our way then?"  
"After you then, milady," Granite volunteered. Tonic giggled, kissed Granite on the cheek then scampered on ahead. Granite realised she was getting faster and chased after her.

* * *

Reader's Spotlight  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Lord Slasher"  
... go, Inuyasha! Do it! Do it!... cough... what? I didn't do anything.  
  
"Black Demon567"  
Gay marriages?.... errrmmm....... oh, that. No, I don't think so... but I'm not fond of that concept... but that's just me. I'm hoping you get what the Felix-Girl thing was about now. It all became clear, didn't it?  
  
"Joker's Specter"  
And once again took me a while to update this. Ah well, I don't have any hitmen after me anymore... if there are mistakes I'd like to know. These chapters aren't perfect and typos are bound to spread..."  
  
"Anime-Master7"  
It's nuts, but so am I. If I was Macedamian I'd be a Macedamia Nut... yeah.  
  
"Link015"  
What a concept! I can't believe I missed that when typing this... eh... too lazy to begin now, sorry. Maybe... yes, I think I know what might happen next chapter... hmmness...

* * *

Lord Cynic: "A sort of light-hearted tomfoolery to finish off a weird sort of chapter. I did well, don't you think?... guys? Guys?"  
Nothing doin'.  
Lord Cynic: "Aw man... fine, be that way."  
  



	9. Confessions, crowds and hippos

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
PROLOGUE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The curtain of the stage opens to reveal a shadow on a spindly wooden chair. The light is dim and details can hardly be seen. The figure is apparently polishing a strange item with a cloth. The figure chuckles malevolently.  
**Figure**: "Heh heh... my tool of destruction and chaos..."  
The light flashes on suddenly and the figure wobbles on his chair and falls backwards onto the floor. He releases his item and the camera zooms to reveal... a rubber mallet with the logo Chupa Chup.  
**Figure**: "Blllllllaaaahhhh...."  
**Voice**: "Haha!"  
**Figure**: (Groans)  
The light flicks on to reveal Lord Cynic lying on the floor in a daze and Mini Jenna looking down at him mockingly. The rubber mallet lays dormant in the corner of the room.  
**Mini Jenna**: "What is this thing?"  
**Lord Cynic**: (¬¬) "Don't even think about it!"  
**Mini Jenna**: "Hmmmmmmmmm..." (Contemp - BOP) "Hehe..."  
**Lord Cynic**: "Bwaaaaaaaaahhhh..." (Collapses with swirly eyes)  
**Others**: (oO)  
**Mini Jenna**: "Perfect... time for some payback on Felix..."  
**Mini Felix**: "CRUD!"

* * *

**Mini Isaac**: "Erm... eheh... Lord Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun... what? Oh, and apparently he doesn't own "Confessions Part 2" by Usher... huh? What's that got to do with this chapter?... oh okee."

* * *

**Part 8: "Confessions, Crowds and Hippos" **

"I have... a confession to make..."  
"Speak up, my child. Let all your sins be washed away by the blessings of the Gods."  
A young blonde teenage male sat on a spindly wooden chair outside a glass panel. His appearance suggested he was in a stare of shock and incredulous: not only were his eyes wide and bloodshot, and his hair sticking in more places than usual, but he also wasn't wearing any pants.  
"Very funny, wise guy," the boy said, his eyes turning into slits.  
Hey, just reading the script, and, y'know, improvising... hey, don't look at me like that!  
"What do you wish to repent, my son?" the voice behind the glass enquired, before a fight between character and commentator could ensue. Isaac scoffed at the narrator, then, turning back to the glass, swallowed his pride and spoke up.  
"I'm afraid that... that my mother will take over my wedding," he said after taking a deep breath.  
"I see," the voice replied serenely. "So how do you really feel about that? I mean, are you sure that's all you're worried about?"  
Isaac took another agonising breath and ran a tired hand through his untidy blonde hair. He'd been meaning to confront a fear he'd been experiencing for quite some time now. However, he didn't want to face himself with such a concept by voicing it out loud – he might risk believing what he dared not to in a thousand moons.  
"I sense deep conflict in you, my boy," the voice behind the glass said mysteriously. "Let the Gods cleanse you of your sorrows, and repent your troubles.  
"Very well," Isaac replied finally after heaving a heavy sigh. He exhaled deeply, fearing the worst that may come out of his mouth. Eventually he began to break briefly into song:

_"These are my confessions.  
Just when I thought my troubles were all dead,  
My blue-haired angel had to go spinning my head.  
These are my confessions.  
Man I'm stuffed and I don't know what I should do,  
I guess my wedding's in the hands of my mother too.  
If she has to do it then she has to do it all,  
I damn near cried when I heard Mia tell me all.  
I'm so done, I don't know what to do,  
But to keep on with all of my confessions."_

Silence followed this, then a different voice then the previous two spoke up.  
"Damn."

* * *

"Oww... I don't feel so good..."  
"Gark! Sup fing's bin by bouth!"  
"That's my foot, you dope! Get offa me!" 

The band of fallen Djinni scrambled to climb off each other and rose gingerly to their feet. Each Djinni looked as disgruntled as the next, and some sported sore heads and sore backsides.  
"Whose idea was that, anyway?" Fizz asked irritably.  
"Not mine!" Dew answered quickly, anxious shift any suspicion away from her. The others stared at her strangely, causing her to blush nervously, but no one said anything. She lowered her head in an attempt to hide herself, and Flint decided to take the initiative.  
"The Djinni go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah – what?"  
Now it was the Venus Djinn's turn to be stared at, but before he had to explain himself two blurs, one brown and one blue, came speeding towards the group.  
"I wonder who those are," Vine and Bane said simultaneously.  
"Three guesses," Sleet said apathetically as the blurs got closer. Everyone sweatdropped when they noticed throbbing veins on the foreheads of the blurs.  
"What's up with them?" Flint asked, frowning, as the blurs approached them. He stepped back suddenly (as did everyone else) when they stopped in front of the group, glaring upon then all. "Um... hey... Wazup, guys?" He shrank in fear when Tonic gave him an evil eye.  
"Just what the heck did you think you were doing?!" she shrieked, sending everyone backwards, and even Granite winced slightly. "Did you not think that stunt could've hurt someone, and not just by physical scars? You could've hurt Garet or Jenna's feelings if you weren't too careful! You're all lucky there won't be big repercussions from all of th – Dew! What's wrong?!"  
Tonic stopped in mid-scolding to rush over to the young Mercury Djinni who was sobbing in the corner of the group. Everyone gathered around her, fretting about whatever upset her. Tonic suddenly felt very guilty about her outburst and desperately tried to soothe Dew.  
"Don't cry, Dew, don't cry. I didn't mean what I said. I was just worried; I thought everyone would get hurt if they were reckless. Wait, I didn't mean it like that!"  
Tonic panicked as Dew started wailing even louder, and the other Mercury Djinni crowded around to give support. Most of them weren't impressed with Tonic's methods of consolation and scowled at her, making her feel extremely small.

Meanwhile, after surviving Dew's wailing, the Venus Djinni were gathered around Granite and concocting the next plan of attack. However, not everyone's ideas were intellectual.  
"Let's take public transport!" Vine suggested enthusiastically. Everyone stared at him. "What?"  
"First of all," Flint explained in a "duh" voice, "there's no such thing as public transport here. Second, even if we were to take 'public transport', we'd get trampled by the humans."  
"Oh," Vine said, weighing this up and finally comprehending the dangers of his suggestion. "Right... eheh."  
"Idiot," Flint growled under his breath, then said out loud, "Any other ideas?"  
"I've got it!" Granite said suddenly, making some Djinni jump. "Let's teleport to the Elder's Sanctum!"  
"And how do you suppose we do that?" Flint asked sceptically. "It's not as if we can do magic tricks and disappear at the blink of an eye."  
"I've got that figured out," Granite said, elaborating on his idea. "All we have to do is to retrieve Sheba's Teleport Lapis. What?" he asked as the others grew incredulous faces. "It won't be that hard."  
Vine and Bane pointed behind Granite, and slowly the Venus Djinn turned around to find...  
"FLINT THE FIEND! GRIMY GRANITE! I challenge you to a battle to the death!"

* * *

Jenna's pursuit of Garet had suddenly turned into a public spectacle. Perhaps more surprising than the rows of spectators watching the brunette chase the redhead around Vale (looking much like the Pokemon in Pikachu's Vacation watching Squirtle and Marill's race), was Garet's ability to maintain his distance from Jenna. Garet was never particularly speedy in battles throughout Weyard (or even afterwards in Vale), so it was astounding how he'd escaped her so far. He only hoped his luck could hold on a little longer.  
'Why are there so many people watching us?' Garet thought hurriedly as he ran. 'Don't they understand the importance of my mission to escape the clutches of this psychopath?' He paused in mid-thought to marvel at his extended mental vocabulary (after eating a dictionary that Ivan had fooled him into thinking was a stack of pancakes), but he checked himself quickly, remembering what those words out of his mouth sounded like "Why they watch? They not know how hard it is to run from Jenna" and struggled t maintain his safety from Jenna.  
'You're going to pay severely for that!' he heard suddenly in his mind. While he was red from running, he was also white with horror - if Jenna could read his mind, he was in deeper strife than he ever dared to fear.  
As the Mars Adepts re-entered the forest (amidst cheers from some spectators who thought they were running a marathon), conspiracies were abound in its entire greeny goodness... ness. However, due to their preoccupations they would be unprepared for what was to come.

* * *

Having so far fooled the people he'd encountered (admittedly only Isaac and Mia), Picard made his way to the marketplace. He ignored the odd stares at his Mad Demon scar, since he'd heard his goody-goody counterpart had landed a temporary job and he wanted to check it out.  
'This should be good,' he thought snidely. 'He doesn't even have enough credentials to be bum on the street. I've got to see just what he's up to.'  
Upon entering the market, the evil Lemurian scanned his surroundings for his elusive benevolent twin. Not even after a brief skim did Picard encounter the strangest sight to date thus far. His counterpart was fitted in a bizarre costume shaped like the continent of Weyard (a rather tacky job, mind you) and wore a very artificial smile on his face as he shouted to the bemused crowd. Behind Piers was a travel agency that must've employed him, as the sign above Piers' head said "Worldly Weyard". Despite the cheerful expression on his face, Piers was obviously frustrated and feeling conned by the tone of his voice.  
"Fly to the tribe village of Kibombo and witness the extravagant Kibombo Statue with 'Worldly Weyard'! Brave the harsh conditions of Imil and Prox with Vale's number one (and only) travel agency!"  
"You've got to be kidding me!" Picard exclaimed incredulously. People turned their heads to stare at him, but he cleared his throat and gave them the evil eye. Passers-by caught by the death glare mumbled quietly and continued their shopping hastily. The malevolent Lemurian snorted and walked out of the marketplace, away from the humiliating display being made by his counterpart – and right in the path of an extremely disgruntled Felix.

* * *

The Great Race continued its progress through the forest. For Garet it was a matter of life or death, for Jenna it was all or nothing, and her pursuit of him seemed endless. However, perhaps the weirdest sight of the day walked in front of them to impede their progress – in the form of four orange and beige hippos.  
"What in Tiamat _are_ those things?" Garet uttered in disbelief, stopping in his tracks once more. Unfortunately for Jenna she had no way of expecting this (who would?) and collided with Garet, sending them both sprawled on the ground.  
In another twist, the orabeige (meh... okay, I'll shut up now) hippos sprang onto their hind legs.  
"You two are under arrest for committing the heinous crime of ripping up the forest earth!" one of them said, and in unison they all pulled off their heads to reveal they were the Vale Police dressed up like orange and beige hippos. "Joe, couldn't you have picked out better colours than these?" he asked one of his fellow officers.  
"Don't look at me," the third hippo from Garet and Jenna's left said. "My wife used up the other colours repainting our house."  
"What, again? How many times is that?"  
"Seven, I've started counting."  
"Hey, not so fast!"  
Jenna and Garet jumped – they were trying to sneak away while the officers were conversing, but the officer on the far right caught them at it. The teenage Adepts froze on the spot, fearing the worst.  
"C'mon, down to the station," the same officer commanded, and with a fleeting nervous look at each other the Mars Adepts traipsed in front of the Vale officers.  
"I'm too young to have a criminal record," Garet whispered urgently.  
"Shh! Just shut up and walk or we'll be in worse trouble," Jenna hissed. Garet's head drooped, but soon the teenagers' spirits rose when they witnessed a large group of Valeans standing at the entrance of the forest.  
"CHARGE!!!"

* * *

**Lord Cynic**: "That took me long enough... sorry for the wait, my exams are starting this week (well, next week if it's a Saturday where you are). I'm hoping to get good enough marks so I can keep writing my stories... cheers."

**_Reader's Spotlight_**

**"Black Demon567" **

'Cheers dude. I'll see if I want to include Garet's ill-tempered sister more frequently as the series goes on. That should make for interesting times indeed... and making something for Felix to think about... or fear.'

**"Link015" **

'Aha... I have a Neopets account meself, so I know what you mean. That Switch-A-Roo game's really annoying though... blah... Mia's evil side... Shudder Still, we'll see if she does have one... somewhere... someday...'

**"goldensunobesser"**

'I had a looksee at your profile before reading this. I agree with most of your couplings, and it looks like the "I hate Alex club" is still running strong... heh. But remember, you've gotta have confidence to write fanfics. See what you can do first, don't give up straight away, and write about whatever you like best.'

**"Joker's Specter"**

Glad to be of service to you. I've hopefully done better in this chapter, putting the paragraph separators back into this chapter. Hope you'll be feeling better.'

**"Darkness-Aura"**

'Hah... that is so like your Mia. Mine's a little more sympathetic... when she isn't sticking to Isaac like a permanent hump.

Mini Isaac: "Um... Mia... I'm getting kinda tired..."  
Mini Mia: "C'mon, Issy, just carry me to the kitchen... then to the bathroom... then maybe outside... and I'll give you something special."  
Mini Isaac: "Oooookay..." Stumbles into the kitchen with Mia hanging cheerfully to his back

Enough said.'

* * *

Lord Cynic: "Okay, now that's done with I should take hopefully 2 weeks at the most to update again... what?"


	10. Revelations and Ruckus

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
PROLOGUE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Cynic: "It's Christmas… soon…"

Mini Mia: "Yay, Christmas! That means presents!"

Mini Jenna: "Yeah, presents!"

Mini Sheba: "Stuff the Christmas spirit, bring on the expensive gifts!"

The guys: "Oh good grief…"

The girls: (glaring) "What was that?"

The guys: (sweatdropping and cowering) "Nothing."

* * *

Lord Cynic: "I don't own Golden Sun. I own my Golden Sun and Golden Sun: The Lost Age cartridges though… my precious… my precious…"

* * *

Chapter 10: Revelations and Ruckus 

"What the?" one of the Vale officers uttered. "Who are they - ?"

"C'mon, ladies! Let's hurry or someone will take our spot at the duck pond!"

Garet and Jenna sweatdropped swimming pools as old women stampede towards them and the officers. They only just managed to avoid the stampede (unlike the officers) by pyroclasming into the sky and falling somewhat gracefully into town.

"Let's do that agai - oww!" Garet whined after Jenna whacked him on the back of the head. "What was that for?"

"You burned my favourite toy bunny as a child, didn't you?" Jenna demanded shrilly, making Garet wince as he rubbed his sore head. He wondered if Jenna was trying to deliberately cause another argument, but she was giving him a death glare so he had to respond swiftly.

"What are you talking about? I did not even know you had a toy bunny. That is a soft side to you I have never seen before," he added pensively. "Maybe you're not as mean and ill-tempered as I though - ACK!"

"Why you!" Jenna shrieked, starting to pelt Garet with fireballs again. He ducked his head and ran for the hills as Jenna gave chase again.

* * *

"Flint! Granite! Do you accept my challenge?" 'Super' Sap ordered amongst all the weird faces and sweatdrops. "I demand that we have a duel this instant!"

"I… I don't think you know what you're saying," Granite said nervously. The crowd parted on either side of him, Sap and Flint, and his face froze when Sap stalked towards him, cracking his minute knuckles.

"Are you saying you're afraid?" Sap asked snidely. Granite frowned malevolently.

"I don't have time for you, you hallucinating psycho!" Granite shouted angrily. "In case you haven't noticed, we're trying to do something important here!"

"Huff… puff… sorry guys," Hail gasped as the remaining Djinni arrived at the scene. "We tried to hold him, we truly did."

"I'd wonder about that," Flint said sceptically as he watched the others. Quartz and Ground were locked in a fierce game of 'Paper, Scissors, Rock,' and Spritz and Mist were bickering non-stop over a very important issue 'The O.C.'

"But Seth and Summer look so cute together!" Mist protested. "How can you deny that?"

"When Summer can't even call him by his first name?" Spritz retorted. "It's always "Cohen" this and "Cohen" that. At least Anna had the decency to call him "Seth". Besides, Anna and Seth had more in common than Seth and Summer."

"Yes, that's true" Mist said, with a slight smirk on her face. "However, who stays for the first series and who takes off before then?"

"Excuse me!!!" shouted Super Sap, irritated at the squabbling Mercury Adepts who were distracting everyone from him. "I'm challenging those fools to a battle to the death!"

Super Sap spun around to face his nemeses again, only to find that they, and everyone else, had continued on their way to the Elder's Sanctum. They were mere specks in the distance before Sap noticed their departure.

"Rats!" Sap yelled in frustration. "They ditched me again!"

"Paper!"

"Rock!"

"Haha, I win! That's 39 out of 42, beat that!"

* * *

Mia entered the busy bazaar, determined to discover Dora from amongst all the bustling people scurrying to grab the latest cheap purchases. Although she was shorter than most of the people around her, she had keen eyes that could pick out anyone she needed from a crowd. Call it woman's intuition, or instincts, or whatever. I still call it freaky.

"Mrs Dora!" she called from within a mass of scurrying shoppers. "Mrs Dora!"

"Who's there?" a womanly voice called from the east. "Is that you, Mia?"

"Yeah, it's me!" Mia yelled, causing people passing to wince slightly. She waded her way through the crowd to the middle-aged blonde woman standing over a stand full of dresses. "Is this the right time, do you think?"

Dora's eyes shone with the pleasure of a little kid in a candy store, and as she turned her head from the dresses to Mia, the Mercury Adept's face froze nervously. Obviously, Dora couldn't hide the glee that her daughter-in-law-to-be was asking her for help for her marriage.

"Anytime is the perfect time, for you," she said, her eyes now almost shining with tears or pride. "Now, what would you like me to do?"

Even though Mia had requested Dora's assistance, she hadn't taken into account what it was she needed help with. She knew the date for the wedding, she had a guest list already thought out in her mind, she had her Isaac, of cours – that's it!

"I was wondering," Mia began tentatively, twiddling her thumbs timidly, "if I could ask you a few questions about Isaac."

"Oh?" Dora was genuinely surprised, as she thought Mia already knew enough about Isaac to not need to ask anything. "Let's take a walk then, maybe. Get out of this busy place before we get trampled."

Mia nodded and they carefully worked their way out of the bazaar and onto the normal dirt path running through Vale.

* * *

Picard and Felix stared each other down at the entrance to the plaza. Picard's piercing stare tried to penetrate the steely expression on Felix's face, while Felix was concentrating on the unusual scar on Picard's forehead. Both were circling each other, each not daring to pull their gaze from the other, so when mischievous kids gave them wedgies, they didn't even blink, leaving the little punks to believe they didn't feel it and walk away disappointed.

Eventually, Felix dropped his fixed stare and loosened up slightly, allowing himself a small smile.

"Nice tattoo you've got there," he said almost casually. "When did you get it done?"

"Huh?" Picard became perplexed, but quickly remembered that he was supposed to be Piers. "Oh, yes, I just got that done recently."

"You must've," Felix said; doubt dangerously filling most of his expression. "Last time I checked your forehead was bare. That was at least 7 hours ago."

Picard was stuck now. He fretted mentally about what he should do. Should he play along and continue with his story? Should he change the subject? Should he tr –

"What do you do here anyway?" Felix asked, interrupting Pier's train of thought. "Do you get a job here while your boat's being repaired or something?"

"Oh, uh," Piers stammered, "I find tidbits of work here and there. Small jobs, you know, enough to pay repair bills."

"I see," Felix said slowly. He cringed suddenly. "Do you feel a large tug on your underwear?"

"Wha - AWWWWWGGGHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Is it true that Isaac is a heavy sleeper?" Mia asked as she and Dora continued walking along the dirt path.

"After babysitting him," Dora said, a glint in her eyes making Mia blush, "I would have thought you already knew the answer to that."

"I… I guess so," Mia said, her face flushed. "I'm afraid to ask this, but does he still -"

"Oh, no, of course not," Dora answered before Mia could embarrass herself further by finishing her question. "I'm glad to say he grew out of that phase when he was 8."

"Oh, but that wasn't what I was going to ask," Mia asked, her face burning red from Dora's answer. Dora stared at her, and then make an embarrassed anime-like face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, rubbing the back of her head. "What was the question?"

"Does he still have those kinds of alter-ego dreams, I was saying," Mia corrected.

"Oh, uh, no, I don't think so," Dora answered, slightly confused. "Come to think of it, they stopped right after you and him got together. Didn't you notice?"

"Well, no," Mia responded, also getting slightly confused. "Why, should I have?"

"Well," Dora said, the glint vanishing from her eyes and being replaced with shades of disappointment, "I was hoping you two would be sleeping together from now on."

"We'd be what?!" Mia exclaimed. Several people gave her stares as they walked by, and the temperature of her face rose 20 degrees as she and Dora kept walking. The fact that her face could become any hotter was a miracle, since it was already a scorching day.

"I guess not," Dora concluded, helping her daughter-in-law-to-be to avoid further humiliation.

"Uhm," Mia stuttered, completely perplexed, "just one more thing: how big is his laundry basket?"

"Hmm." Dora seemed to be contemplating the best way to answer this. Finally, she settled by saying, "From all the laundry I've done, I've never seen him wear anything but his tunic and pants. Maybe he wears jeans and leather jackets, but I've never seen them."

"Oh." Mia was genuinely surprised by this description of her fiancé's clothing attire. "I never kne -"

Mia stopped in mid-sentence when she spotted Jenna pelting after Garet in the distance. She never quite understood how Garet could maintain his distance from the fiery brunette (no pun intended), but an idea suddenly popped into her head.

"Thank you very much, Mrs – er, I mean, Dora," she corrected herself. "I've got to go something now."

"All right, dear," Dora said. "Just remember, when you and Isaac… get intimate, remember to remind him to wear protectio -"

"Okay thank you," Mia said quickly before Dora could finish, and she raced off quickly.

* * *

Isaac wondered whether repenting his sins was a good idea. Sure, a free-travelling confession cabinet (as the slogan claimed) seemed like a great convenience at the time. However, now he had to ponder whether a shrine for regretting one's wrongs was appropriate for a town like Vale. Moreover, he added mentally, just how the heck did they know he needed one in the first place? It did not make much sense…

"We must delve deeper into your subconscious," the voice behind the glass said, bringing Isaac back into reality. "Into your innermost thoughts and feelings, your fears, your ambitions… what is your biggest fear at the moment?"

"My biggest fear? I'm not so sure," Isaac said slowly, swallowing nervously.

"Come now, are you here to confess or not?" the voice said scoldingly. "Are you being unfaithful to someone? Have you committed a wrong? Have you criticised your mother's cooking?"

"You know," Isaac said suspiciously, "you're sounding less and less benevolent. I would have thought you'd be kinder than this."

The voice behind the glass collected itself, remembering its duty. It cleared its throat then restarted.

"My boy, I only wish for you to be honest. I cannot hope to cleanse you if you cannot be honest with me."

"Oh," Isaac said slowly. "Okay then."

"So," the voice said, "Do you have a fear?"

"Well," Isaac said, counting off his fingers, "Jenna's temper, Garet's appetite, Mia's wrath, Mum's vacuum cleaner, Mia's wrath..." Isaac started counting off the fingers of his other hand, "Felix's houseplant that seems to grow teeth every day, Piers' hair, Sheba and Ivan's schemes, Kay's karate skills… and Mia's hidden wrath," he finished, shuddering slightly.

"This 'Mia'," the voice said somewhat cheekily. "She certainly sounds like she's a big part of your life and subconscious."

"She's a very special girl," Isaac said dreamily, colour rising to his cheeks. "She's everything I could ever want in a partner: beautiful, funny, ravishing, intelligent, gorgeous, a good cook, stunning..."

"Okay, we - er, I get the idea," the voice behind the glass interrupted dubiously. "She certainly sounds like the world to you. So, why do you worry about the approaching wedding in that case?"

"I don't want to get married yet."

Those nine words rang through the confession cabinet like an eerie presence. Both Isaac and the voice behind the glass had been silenced by the words of the panic stricken Venus Adept.

"Whatever do you mean?" the voice asked in concern.

"Exactly what I just said!" Isaac yelled, frustrated, "I don't want to get married to Mia!"

* * *

Lord Cynic: "Ooooooh, you're in trouble now, Isaac."

Mini Isaac: "What? You wrote that, not me! I wouldn't dare do something like that!"

Lord Cynic: "No, that's not it. You haven't got a Christmas gift for Mia yet, have you?"

Mini Isaac: "W-What?! How do you know?"

Lord Cynic: "I checked the tree. You're in big trouble, little man…"

Mini Isaac: "Eep."

Lord Cynic: "Sorry these keep taking long. I have writer's blocks to cover a whole neighbourhood. However, piece-by-piece (and with a metal spoon) I'm starting to chip away. I _plan_ to write a Pokemon Christmas fanfics, so if nothing gets updated, there'll be a new story in my portfolio. The reason for the lack of updates, you might demand? Well, besides the writer's block (it's not laziness!), I've been reading Megaman fanfics. Yeah, you read that right. Megaman NT Warriors premiered on Cartoon Network last week and I've started to watch it. Besides being enjoyable to watch, it started to give me more ideas. So, yeah, for the past three or four days I've been reading fanfics based on NT Warriors.

Oh, and one last thing. Might sound a bit forward, but if it's possible I'd like some opinions on the way I write my fanfics. Is the story too bland, are there not enough descriptions, do I focus on certain characters too much when I should be focussing on others? Do I not write enough chapters or too many and fall off the intention of the story? Story elements and stuff like that, y'know? Only if you feel you want to. I just started feeling I need some second opinions from other readers. Okay, I'm done."

* * *

_**Reader's Spotlight**_

**Black Demon567**

Ack… sorry… I guess I gotta do it sooner. In at least 5 days, I swear! I want to update in 5 days, I need to update in 5 days, oh why don't you let me update in 5 days?!… yeah, sorry, Simpsons episode-influenced.

**Link015**

I'd say that Vale thought they didn't need police. They had the Elders to protect the town, so they didn't need law enforcement. No idea why they need police though… it's like they're paranoid or something…

**Anime-Master7**

In the taunting words of The Rock, "Just bring it!" Nah, just kidding. Like I said before, 5 days is the maximum I'm giving myself to update. If I'm not done in 5 days… well, I'm open to any sort of fanfictional assault by reviewers and readers… yeah, I'm serious.


	11. Vale's Cupids's are back in action

**PROLOGUE**

**Mini Mia:** "So Isaac, what did you get for me this year?"

**Mini Isaac:** "I... er... um..." (_whispers to Cynic_) "Help me!"

**Lord Cynic:** "Sorry mate, I'm a writer, not a delivery boy."

**Shrek:** "I'm a delivery boy!"

**Lord Cynic:** (_pushes Shrek out of the picture_) "Okay, that's enough out of you."

**Mini Isaac:** (_to Mia_): "I can't tell you what it is... it has to be a secret."

**Mini Mia:** "Aww, okay."

**Mini Isaac:** "Phew..."

**Lord Cynic:** "You were lucky this time, mate."

**Mini Isaac:** "Shush."

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic**: "I don't own Golden Sun. I don't own a Bronze Moon. I don't own a Copper... something. Whatever, I own none of those, even though only one is actually something useful."

**

* * *

**

Chapter 11: Vale's Cupids are back in action

Even Isaac was aghast by the words he had blurted in frustration. Outside, even the wind was whispering through the air, like it had been eavesdropping and was too caught off-guard by Isaac's declaration.

On the other side of the glass, the voice that had been speaking to Isaac was not expecting so blunt a declaration. It had dropped whatever sarcasm it still possessed and was now muttering silently to itself. However, despite the horror that followed what he'd said, Isaac could swear he almost heard two voices behind that glass, two voices that sounded mighty familiar...

Eventually, the voice decided to speak up.

"This is very unexpected news," it said, and Isaac thought he heard a short gasp of breath from behind the glass. "Are you quite sure you feel this way?"

"I... I don't know," Isaac stuttered, starting to break up. "I mean it just seems so soon to think about getting married. I'm only 19-ish, you'd think I have plenty of time to don the tuxedo and raise ki... oh boy..."

"I don't quite understand," the voice said, expression concern for perhaps the first time in 15 minutes. "I thought you loved this girl and would do anything for her. Why the sudden cold feet?"

"I don't know," Isaac repeated. He was getting majorly freaked. Why wasn't he keen to marry Mia? He loved her, she loved him, there should be nothing stopping them. And yet... he still didn't feel right. No, he wasn't cheating on her. Granted, this was the first chance they had to be apart for probably 52 hours now. Other than that, Mia couldn't detach herself from him if she tried. He probably could, but he didn't want to.

Switching back to reality, Isaac realised the voice behind the glass was still requesting a proper response. Resigning himself to further inner self-destruction, he took a deep breath and prepared to give an answer. However, he tried speaking the words quietly to himself, but no sound came out. It was like he'd lost the ability to speak, as punishment from Venus for betraying his beloved Mia. But he hadn't done anything despicable. He couldn't marry her just yet, sure, but he wasn't being unfaithful. So why couldn't he voice anything aloud?

An abrupt shaking of the confession cabinet brought Isaac back into reality once again. He shot up in shock, and then peaked outside to find Garet and Jenna still running endlessly through the streets of Vale. Raising an eyebrow, he stepped out of the cabinet to watch them, until Mia collided into the back of him.

"Whoa!"

"Ooof!"

Both landed heavily on the floor, in a rather comprising position for not the first time. They excused themselves hastily and stood up, blushing heavily despite the fact that they were already a couple. I guess it could be because it was in public... dirty puppies.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!" Mia apologised, over and over again. Her cheeks were still flushed and she hasn't noticed her daily robes were also rather flustered.

Isaac was stammering his own apologises so each couldn't hear whatever the other was saying. He seemed to have forgotten what had happened in the confession cabinet just a minute ago as he became flustered. However, Mia's engagement ring suddenly sparkled in the sunlight, and he suddenly became very pale.

Mia became very anxious by the sudden alteration in Isaac's complexion and looked at him with the deepest concern. She asked him what was wrong, but he refused to tell her, because he knew it would upset her and maybe even cause her to hate him forever. She continued to press on for an explanation, but every time he shook her head and told her everything was fine.

Eventually, he yelled out that there was nothing wrong, and Mia's lip started to tremble. Isaac immediately became very guilty at his angered outburst and drew Mia into a heartfelt hug. He whispered apologies to her, telling her he was just under a lot of stress as he stroked her hair tenderly. She mumbled quietly that she'd been asking Dora questions about her and his face suddenly became paler than even Mia's.

"Y-Y-Y-You've what?" he stammered, his expression half-frozen in a mix of shock and horror. It was like the time during the babysitting chaos when he discovered he was outside his own house in his Djinni pyjamas, under the intrigued (for the most part) eyes of every one of his friends. Despite herself, Mia had to muffle a giggle and wondered if she'd said that with the intentional purpose to get that reaction from her fiancé.

"You don't mind, do you?" she asked, using the situation to her advantage. She tilted her head and gazed up at him smiling sweetly (#2 of her powers of seduction), waiting for an answer. Isaac's face flushed furiously and he struggled to string two coherent words together as he fumbled around for an answer. Eventually, due to his inability to speak English (or human for that matter), he nodded silently, still unable to pull his own gaze from Mia's blue eyes.

As if on cue, a shrill shriek broke the land of imaginary paradise the lovebirds were in (although they might say otherwise), and their attentions switched to the ever-vigilant Jenna and the ever-desperate Garet. Isaac and Mia sweatdropped exasperatedly, wondering what they were ever going to do with the eternal bickerers.

Just then, a lightbulb switched on in Isaac's mind.

"Oooh, what a pretty light!" Mia cooed, staring dreamily at the light prop above Isaac's head. Her eyes were filled with stars and she had that sort of anime look of wonder.

Isaac fell down in stupidity at Mia's reaction, but quickly collected himself.

"Follow my lead," he whispered to Mia, who had swung out of Dreamland and back into reality.

"Wheeeeee!!"

Out of nowhere, a large pink fluffball flew through the air, using its rather short arms. It looked like an inflated pink beachball with eyes.

"HIIIIII!" it yelled from the sky to the people down below. Onlookers watched on in amusement, but even more watched bemused as a teenage boy with messy black hair ran agitatedly through the street. His sunglasses were perched precariously on his head, and his blue vest was almost stuck to his body as he continued to pursue the flying pink puffball.

"Get back here with my GameBoy, Kirby!" he screamed between pants. "I swear, you'll be cooking on the fireplace if I don't get it back!"

"You'll have to come up here and get it, Cynic!" Kirby taunted from the sky. Using his strange abilities, he started to rise even further into the clouds.

Seething with frustration, "Cynic" jumped into the nearby tree and continued his pursuit upwards through the branches. Isaac and Mia watched, humungaloid sweatdrops sliding down the back of their heads. Eventually, Isaac remembered his priorities and stuck a leg out onto the footpath.

"What are you doing?" Mia asked, confused. Isaac gave her a pointed glance and she nodded, even though she had no idea what he was up to.

Right on delayed cue (or maybe they were frozen in time because of Cynic and Kirby ... never mind), Garet and Jenna came back from their 39th cycle through Vale. Garet was still able to keep a couple of seconds in front of Jenna, and the Isaac only hoped it would stay that way.

Thankfully for the blonde teenager, Garet didn't look like stopping - until he was inches from Isaac's outstretched foot.

"Ah, stuff it," Isaac said finally, and hauled Garet into the bushes he and Mia were hiding in. Despite the redhead struggling, Isaac dragged him away, after indicating to Mia to do the same when Jenna came by.

Sure enough, when Jenna came into reach, Mia grabbed her and applied the chloroform Isaac had given her (Lord knows how he got it... oh, I am a Lord... yeah, so I know... sorry) to the brunette. Soon, like Garet, Jenna was dozing peacefully.

"What do we do now?" Mia asked, since she still had no clue what Isaac was scheming.

"Elementary, my dear Mia," Isaac said, wearing a monocle and puffing a pipe. "We take them to separate houses first. You can go to my house; I'll go to Garet's and hope no one's there. When we get inside, we'll launch Operation Mars Matchmaking."

"Ooh!" Mia cooed, her eyes becoming stars again. "I almost forgot about that. Vale's Cupids, reporting for duty!"

Isaac smiled at her enthusiasm, but when Garet stirred he stuffed the cloth of chloroform in the redhead's mouth. If not killing him, it certainly sent him to sleep. Isaac raised an eyebrow at Mia, and then the two heaved their 'projects' away to their separate destinations.

* * *

As the teenagers departed from the scene, the confession cabinet grew silent and neglected. A few people stared wide-eyed at the strange structure planted on the side of the footpath, but none stayed around to investigate it. Eventually, quiet voices spoke from inside the cabinet.

"That was unexpected," a male voice said. "Isaac not wanting to marry Mia? It's like the world's flipped 180 degrees off the face of the universe. Next thing we know, Garet'll turn into a Kraden wannabe."

"There's no way in hell we can let that happen!" a female voice said through gritted teeth. "We must marry those two of or I'll never win my be- er, that is, otherwise they'll never get it through their oblivious heads that they were meant for each other."

There was a slight pause, almost as if the male voice (which sounded quite young, as did the female voice) was trying to figure out what the female voice had said.

Eventually, there was a shrill female cry, and the cabinet exploded into a wind of wood and glass. As the dust settled, two blonde teenagers stood where the confession cabinet used to be. The boy had his arms folded across his chest in a business-like manner, while the girl was looking disgruntled, her eyes beady and searching the environment for something. She glared at people who dared to give her a side-glance, and the boy laughed nervously.

"I guess you're really focussed about getting Isaac and Mia together, huh?" he asked, half guessing what her answer would be.

"You've got that right!" the girl said, shooting random people death glares. "I am not letting those two muck it up! It's been too long!"

"It's been 2 weeks since they got together," the boy said, his eyes turning into slits.

"That's long enough!" the girl spat, shooting her companion in cunnery (my own word, get yers by yourself) a damaging glare. He winced and felt himself shrink a few inches (as if he wasn't short enough).

"O-Okay then," he stammered timidly. "What do you propose we do?"

"I'll leave that to you to decide," the girl said, looking at her watch. "I've got somewhere to be, so you'll have to figure out what to do. Later, Ivan, and don't mess this up, or you'll regret it."

"B-But -" However, the girl had disappeared into the bushes and out of sight. Ivan sighed and sat on the rubble resulting from the explosion. "Man, why do I have to do all the dirty work? Dang that Sheba, she always finds a way to do this to me... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

* * *

"Man, this really HURTS," Felix whined, hunched over and waddling thanks to the delayed reaction to the wedgie he'd been given. After a final glare-off between him and Piers, they had departed on their separate ways. However, the Venus Adept with the ponytail had unsuccessfully attempted to readjust his underwear, so while he walked he yelped every few steps. Still, he was not going to ask anyone for help, that'd just be embarrassing. The bemused stares he received as he stumbled through the plaza were already enough publicity than he could handle, so asking for assistance was definitely out of the question.

He was just about to pass the travel agency, and past the humiliating spectacle of the true Lemurian when he heard a familiar face.

"Come one, come all to "Worldly Weyard! As a well-travelled individual, I have adventured to all parts of Weyard, from Prox, to Daila, to even the Treasure Isle that was rumoured to be empty! How can you not deny what you've just heard? Well, if you travel by our company, you too can begin your own adventure!"

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Felix said, and he spun around to face the talking rubber Weyard. "Piers? Is that you?"

"H-Huh?" Piers froze in mid-speech. "F-Felix! What are you doing here?!"

**

* * *

**

**Mini Isaac:** "Can't you help me, Cynic?"

**Lord Cynic:** "Why should I?"

**Mini Isaac:** "Mia will kill me if she doesn't find a present from me under the tree for Christmas."

**Lord Cynic:** "Hmm... I think I've got it!" _(whispers to Mini Isaac, whose eyes widen)_

**Mini Isaac:** "You can't be serious!"

**Lord Cynic:** "'fraid so, little man. Get to it!"

**Mini Isaac: **_(groans)_

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic:** "A different kind of cliff-hanger this time. See? I told you I could get this done in 5 days or less... but sorry it only featured like 3 separate scenes. I counted the words of the first scene, and it was well over 1400 words. Nifty. I hope I didn't scare any Mudshippers over what happened last time. This is a humour fanfic, so in a roundabout way it's gonna have a happy ending like it should. Okay, just gonna do the Reader's Spotlight then I'm outta here. Oh, and I'm about 300 words into my Pokemon Christmas fanfic... yayness."

**

* * *

**

**_Reader's Spotlight_**

**"Link015"**

Ah, but you forgot what I said before: 5 days or less or I'd let anyone kick the crap out of me. Sorry the Djinni aren't in this one, I haven't found a good way to continue their antics. Thanks for the compliments.

**"iain r m"**

Wow, you're a loud one. Don't worry, I'll make Mudshippers proud of me... eventually. As for Felix/Sheba, I haven't decided which pairing to give Sheba... we'll have to see what happens.

**"Pant Burner"**

Aww, I was hoping no one would figure that out before I could reveal it. Now the story's ruined!!! Kidding, but congrats on finding out who they were.


	12. Billie Jean, broken backs and buckets

**Mini Isaac:** "How long has it been?"

**Mini Jenna:** "Almost half a year I reckon."

**Mini Ivan:** "Actually, it has been nearly half a year. Not even a Christmas fanfic... how pathetic."

**Lord Cynic:** "Hey, shut up! I've had... preoccupations."

**Mini Sheba:** "Like what?"

**Lord Cynic: **"I've been writing Megaman and Tales of Symphonia."

**Minis:** "Hmm..."

**Lord Cynic:** "Hey, I'm dedicating some of my fanfiction writing time to this now. Don't complain."

**Minis:** "... besides the fact that that's what you _should _be doing, why don't we believe you?"

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic:** "... Yeah, like I said, been writing fanfics on the above two. Don't kill me yet, wait until the chapter's finished. Although, that said, you wouldn't expect to see the fanfic finished either, would you? Yes...

I won't reply to reviews this time with anything more than: PLEASE DON'T HAUNT ME WITH SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS!"

**

* * *

**

**Mini Mia:** "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun. Oh, and the lyric used is from **Billie Jean** by _Michael Jackson_."

**Mini Ivan:** "That reminds me... how many lyrics have you used without stating disclaimers, Cynic?"

**Lord Cynic: **"UHHH..."

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12: Billie Jean, broken backs and bucket begging**

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Felix exclaimed incredulously. "Piers, what the hell are you doing in that thing?"

Passers-by stared disapproving at Felix's light cursing, but he simply glared until they shrivelled up or continued on their way. Piers, on the other hand, was desperately trying to find an excuse for his get-up.

"Well, you see," he stuttered nervously, "it's... it's a disguise... y'know, so that... um... Ivan and Sheba can't play tricks on me... yeah, that's it..."

Felix looked him over, and discovered tiny beads of sweat dancing on the Lemurian's forehead.

**

* * *

**

"Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son..."

The tiny beads of sweat break danced to the beat as the music played. Some slipped and fell further down Piers' face, but most stayed upright and did moonwalks. Some tried doing the robot, but failed miserably.

**

* * *

**

Felix shook the mental images of the dancing sweatdrops out of his head and confronted Piers again.

"That's not quite what I was talking about," he said slowly, his eyebrows rising. "I saw you leave the marketplace about 5 minutes ago. How could you be there one minute, then here and in a ridiculous costume the next?"

"Um... well... that is..." Piers pondered an escape route from his predicament. Then he decided to use the oldest trick in the book. "Look behind you, Kay's come back to haunt you!"

"Holy (censored)!" Felix spun around to dread the fuming redhead, but came face-to-face with nothing. "Hey, what the?"

"Have a nice trip!" Piers yelled. "Diamond Berg!"

"Hey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!"

Felix disappeared into the sky with a DING, leaving a relieved Piers to stare after him. A wry smile spread across his face, but was briefly replaced by a pensive frown.

'What could he mean?' he mused to himself. 'Why did he say I was at two places at once?'

**

* * *

**

Isaac hurried through Vale - well, as quickly as he could with a heavy load on his back. He was still carrying an unconscious Garet, who would've weighed a tonne. Then again, it was probably because Isaac had become weak after the journey. No, no, that couldn't be it. Of... course not. He wasn't weak... he was just... newly unaccustomed to the massive load he had to heave on his aching back. Damnit!

On a side note, he wondered how time was actually passing. Did days go by, or was the time frame semi-permanently stuck in an eternal time freeze? Would the moon ever come up again? Or was the author too lazy to realise that 24 hours did indeed have to eventuate between chapters?

However, Garet's weight tilted Isaac back into reality. He grunted irritably as he tried to shift Garet onto his back to ease the approaching pain.

"Man, Garet," he gasped as he attempted to scale a small hill. "I swear if someone hadn't nicked Sheba's Teleport Lapis this would be much easier. I'm gonna kill whoever took it, if I don't kill myself fir

However, a sickening crack halted Isaac's progress. A freeze in time seemed to transpire, as he stood rooted to the spot, still carrying the hefty Mars Adept on his back. Seconds passed, then minutes, but nothing doin'. Obnoxious kids gave them both wedgies, but still nothing. It was as if they'd been semi-permanently stuck in time.

Suddenly, the present returned. And with it came...

"AGH! MY BACK!... OOOOUUUUURGGGGGHHHHH!"

**

* * *

**

"Must... kill... Garet... Must... kill... Garet..."

Mia sweatdropped heavily as she dragged a muttering Jenna behind her. The fiery Mars Adept had been muttering non-stop since being sedated, which raised concerns for passers-by who encountered the blue-haired young woman and her heavy load. Mia even blushed a few times when people overheard "I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish" about 3 times in 7 minutes. However, she was quick to hide it - she had to be, considering she used to blush like an idiot around Isaac at least a million times a week.

Ah, the sweet naivety of young love... Don't watch, don't look. Just pass me a bucket, I'm gonna puke. Images of love and fluffy sheep, are gonna keep me up at night and minimise my sleep! AHH!

"I wonder who that was," Mia pondered, her ears perking up at the thought that she'd heard someone. 'Must be my imagination,' she mused.

"I will shave his broom hair off and stick it on my wall," the 'unconscious' Jenna muttered. Mia sweatdropped again.

"I really hope she doesn't plan on talking like that all the way to Isaac's house. It might give Dora ideas about my dear Isaac's hair. Oh Isaac, I can't wait until we're married. It'll be so grand!"

Mia briefly entered her own fantasyland, and almost tripped over a log. In the process, she dropped her friend, who wound up bumping her head on some grass.

"Oww! That's it, you're dead Garet!" Jenna shrieked - although the ground muffed her voice as her head lay on the grass. Her little outburst awoke Mia from her illusions, and she gasped.

"Oh no! I can't let her wake up or Garet won't be the only one on her hit list."

Mia fretted, but suddenly an idea clicked into her head. Focusing her Psynergy, she created a light mist around Jenna's cursing form. Soon, Jenna's mouth went from cursing to light drooling as she fell asleep. Mia sighed, and then smiled contently.

"I'm glad that still works." She then resumed dragging Jenna to Isaac's house. She wondered what her fiancé had in mind - or how he intended to make contact with her. Hmm, some things still needed ironing out. Oh well, she loved him all the same.

Damnit! I still need that bucket! I'm gonna puke at all this lovey-dovey crap, hur -

_TWANG_

... waaaaaaaaaaah, that hurt! Meany prop crew!

_(The prop crew snigger backstage. The narrator snarls, but the bucket wedged on his head prevents him making the desired impact. Instead, everyone backstage simply fall off their chairs, laughing. Gee, respectable bunch, aren't they? Punks...)_

**

* * *

**

Somewhere, a brunette male was falling through the sky. Who says humans can't fly? Sure they need a little assistance, but still?

**

* * *

**

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"... Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

Fizz nearly broke down in sobs as Dew repeated the question every three seconds. It was very unexpected to everyone else, who saw Fizz as the Jenna of the group. Then again, Dew was the innocent aspect of Mia in the group. As such, her innocence, naivety and clueless would drive many of her friends nuts. Poor Fizz.

"Where are we, anyway?" Tonic asked, hoping to shed some light on the situation.

"I... have no idea," Granite said, causing everyone else to face fault.

"What do you mean, you have no idea!" There was the old Jenna spark in Fizz that the others feared with authority. "How could you have no idea? Do you mean to tell me we've been going in circles for hours?"

Granite puffed his cheeks impatiently.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, everything looks gigantic from here," he growled, looking around him. Indeed, since they were Djinni, everything was at least 3 to 4 times larger than normal. "Of course we're bound to end up not knowing where we are sooner or later!"

"Whoa, Granite," Flint said, surprised at the rising pitch in Granite's voice. "Calm down or you'll blow a fuse."

"Shut it!" Granite spat. Flint recoiled at the resentment in his fellow Venus Djinn's voice, but Granite ignored it. "No one here had to come! If you've got a problem, go find your way back. Go on!"

There was silence while the irate Earth Djinn glared at everyone. However, no one met his gaze, and he huffed irritably. With one swift turn, he stalked off along the dirt path. Tonic hurried beside him, although she was tentative to try and make conversation with him. Behind them, the others tagged along silently. Well, for the most part.

"Have you noticed that he's inherited Isaac's hidden anger?" Flint muttered to Fizz.

"Yeah," Fizz whispered back. "As well as his lacking sense of direction."

"Could be worse," Sleet whispered, popping up between them. "Vine and Bane could leading us."

"Good point," Flint said, as the three heads turned to the tail of the group.

Vine and Bane each had one of Dew's paws (?) in one of theirs and were swinging her merrily. She laughed jovially, enjoying the movement as her body swung back and forth without a care.

"Wheee! Wheeee! Wheeeeeee!"

Vine and Bane grinned, finally realising that they had a practical use after all. However, that didn't mask their true intentions for joining the less-than-merry band. No one knew their real reasons, but they would be made clear soon enough. When that came to pass, Dew's swingers wouldn't be nearly as friendly with each other as they were right now.

For the meantime, however, everything seemed all right. The way things looked, nothing bad was going to hap -

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"DEW!"

Dew screamed as she was accidentally flung into the air. Everyone turned to glare lethally at the culprits, who laughed nervously and avoided eye contact with them. When Dew's screams faded into the distance, attentions were turned to her flying form. Sweatdrops were aplenty, and as quickly as possible the group hurried after her - wherever she was going.

* * *

Meanwhile, a sinister brown face poked out of some shrubs. The face was distorted in a bizarre-looking sneer, and its eyes glinted with malice.

"So, it looks like Flint the Fiend and Grimy Granite have some troubles of their own," it said snidely. "This is the perfect chance to strike!"

"Uh... 'Super' Sap, they're getting away," an exasperated voice said.

"Quiet, Queer Quartz!"

"... Queer! I am not queer!"

There were sniggers and titters within the shrubs.

"Shut up, "Gruesome Ground", "Howling Hail", "Miserable Mist" and "Spiteful Spritz"!" yelled the second voice.

"At least they're better than Queer Quartz," a small feminine voice gasped, evidently still chuckling.

"Stop it!"

**

* * *

**

I believe you can fly, brunette male! I believe you can touch the sky! I believe you can soar! Until you hit a tree, or four!

**

* * *

**

There were screams of agony and pain as a blonde young man rolled on the ground. Beside him, an unconscious, red-haired young man lay unmoving, except for the drool from his mouth and the bubbles out of his nose. Quite grotesque, really. However, the content in the redhead's face (regardless of how gross it was) was a sharp contrast with the piercing pain in the blonde's. Especially since the latter was screaming bloody murder and uncharacteristic obscenities. Ooooh, naughty, naughty.

It would take a while for the scene to resume its course. Especially when there came a fresh crack heard from the blonde's back, and a fresh outburst of obscenities.

**

* * *

**

Ivan grumbled and muttered obscenities as he scoured the town for ways to hasten the progress of Isaac and Mia's wedding plans. He still didn't know where Sheba was, what she was doing, or why she was making him do all her work for him. Bah, the drawbacks of being male, having to do all the heavy lifting, the hard labour, the breadwinning...

"And we have PMS, pregnancy, anorexia, and we get cranky in the morning!" screamed all the women in Vale.

Okay, okay, sorry. Sheesh. They really are cranky in the morning. Ivan pulled his fingers out of his ears, but the force of the women's outcry still rung through his head. It was so much so that he even needed to hold onto a tree to stop himself wobbling.

Soon, however, he regained his balance and continued his search for ideas. They were had to come by, however, especially considering that it involved Isaac and Mia of all people.

'Great!' Ivan thought bitterly. 'I'm one of the greatest geniuses in all Weyard and I have no ideas for wedding plans! Oh, the irony!'

But everyone seemed to cliche these days. Every fresh idea had been sapped from the brainstorm cloud, and barely any fresh concepts brew up. It was as if love had lost its freshness, or simply became too lazy to think of anything new. Just like several romance movies, but that was only a theory. The Jupiter Adept hadn't seen such soppy films in his life... at least, he wouldn't admit to it.

Ivan shook his head clear of those thoughts and wandered through the streets. Sideshows rarely came around anymore, which caused a major dent in his and Sheba's minor careers as ticket sellers for shows full of freaks. However, freaks is such a harsh word... yes...

Suddenly, there was a flash of lightning, coming from somewhere on the outskirts of the marketplace. It couldn't have been the weather, because there were clear skies all around. And Ivan didn't think Sheba could've done it, otherwise there would have been a scream of pain somewhere. No, it was definitely a strange phenomenon. But was the cause of it?

Ivan released his wedgie hold on an unfortunate youth and rushed to the scene. When he arrived, he came face-to-face with a rather unusual sight. A short boy with spiky silver hair was waving a strange toy around. It was unlike anything or anybody the 17-year old had encountered before. But it was clear, there was a strong aura of powerful magic surging inside this boy.

Only one rational, well-thought out, intelligent thought ran through Ivan's mind.

"Hey, who the hell are you?"

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic: **"... Be honest. If you know who it is, you know me too much. Meh... you'd think I could've made this better." (_Eyes widen_) "At least I updated! It's not like I've neglected it or left it to die a horrible death! ... Right?

I said I wouldn't, but I'll reply to reviews anyway."

**

* * *

**

**"myname"**

... I sense a Jigglypuff-like scenario with the Djinni and Garet. At least the latter two don't sing... I hope. I don't mind the ideas, but, like you, I don't appreciate being told forcefully how to write things. Still, most people let me go on with things the way I want to. Most... no, the minority doesn't include you, chill. The 5-day deadline was, sadly, a one-time thing only. I'm buggered if I can do this again in a week, maybe a month. Eh...

**"Cricket-chan"**

... Er, yeah. That was kinda made clear, but at least we got it, right?

**"Lord Slasher"**

(_Maniacal laughter... which also turns into girlish laughter_) ... This is your fault!

**"Anime-Master7"**

... I'm sure the Minis wouldn't dare let me break up our favourite Mudshipping couple. As soon as possible?... er... 4 months is all right, isn't it?... No?... Crud. (Runs)

**"Linkz117"**

Collect muses? I just found this lot on the street. Don't ask me... but I wouldn't advise you to do the same. Otherwise, you'll end up with the little monsters that I have. Shudder...

**"Nightmare"**

I could so tell you're into Valeshipping. Nope, no dice here. The summary clearly states Mudshipping and Flameshipping. Too bad, but thanks for the compliments.

**"iamfinalfantasy"**

... I am a Lord. Therefore, I Mortals. Muwahahahahahahaha! Oh, but I don't believe in him. I believe in Karma and the Force. Hah!

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic: **"Unholy Otherworldly powers will be needed to help me write the next chapter. I'm in a mess of phases: Golden Sun, Megaman, Tales of Symphonia, Chrono (Chrno) Crusade, Chobits... it never stops!" (_Listens to CC's opening theme_) "Damn, that song is so cool... if only I could see the anime/read the manga... ARGH!"


End file.
